Lessons in the Valley

There is something to be said for the lessons we learn in the valley. The darkest times in our lives sometimes yield the most wisdom - if we allow them to. In my experience I grow seemingly much closer to sanctification when I have just gone through something that has required me to completely lean on the Lord. Those times when I realize that I have no one but Him are the times when I understand just how much I need Him and love Him.

It was during one of these difficult places that God taught me an important lesson. I feel like it might be one of the most important lessons in my life. There are many times that God reaches down and reveals wisdom that is meant only for me. However, this time I feel that many people would benefit from this perspective. 

There are times when the struggles we face lead us to a dark place in our hearts. These places are often littered with thoughts of our self-worth and empty value. While we may know the truth in our mind about who God says we are and the impact we might have on the world, in times of struggle it is easy to find all of this insignificant. To be honest, in times of deep pain it can be easy to find our own lives insignificant. We may even feel like we hope to die to avoid suffering any longer. 

At Christmas time we consider God's great gift of love. In doing so I realized something that I had never considered before. Scripture teaches that Jesus was a "man of many sorrows" (Isaiah 53:3). Jesus is God and it is hard to imagine Him as a person who suffers pain as well. The Bible is pretty clear on this, "he was despised and rejected" (Is. 53:3). He felt alone. He felt sorrow. He felt hated. If we continue reading in Scripture it is clear that He also likely felt unloved, like He did not belong, and betrayed by those He should have been able to trust (I'm looking at you, Peter - Luke 22). 

During the times in our lives when we feel sorrowful, alone, hated, like an outcast who is unloved or betrayed, we might wish that the circumstances which lead to us feeling this way had never happened. On the other side of this deep pain, we may have gained wisdom and insight that we realize was invaluable but few of us would say that we would choose to go through the pain again. I think we would likely all appreciate the lesson without the pain. 

Unlike us, Jesus not only would choose the pain again - but chose the pain the first time. He knew what it would cost Him. He knew he would be unloved and even knew that God would have to turn away from Him on the cross as He took on our sin. He still chose those nails. He still chose that hate. He still chose you. 

While we might say that we would never choose the painful circumstances that brought us toward sanctification, but we are glad that God could use it for good. Christ chose. He chose then and He would choose it again. If it were not for His suffering we would not have communion with God. We would not have the gift of the indwelling Spirit of God. We would not have peace or hope for tomorrow. 

The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. John 1:14

The expression of God that is Jesus was born into human nature to be with us.

He knew that dwelling among us would be difficult and painful. He knew He would feel alone, and be alone at times. He knew it would cost Him everything - but He chose to do it anyway because you were worth it to Him. 

I hope to remember this lesson. Christ was born to die. He chose to suffer - a man of many sorrows - so that we would never be alone while we are suffering. 

Lessons on the mountain

I recently went on a hike with Kyle and two of the coolest people I know.

One of my favorite things to do is to get quiet and listen to what God might be trying to reveal to me. I try to share what I glean because it usually seems to be important for the world, and not just for me. It has been a while since I have heard one of these lessons, and I was hoping this birthday hike might be an opportunity to hear from God.

First, this hike was one of the most difficult hikes imaginable. We started by hiking down from the highest point in South Carolina. We then hiked up the mountain next to the one we hiked down from. We found a good spot for setting up camp, and enjoyed the evening. At nightfall all of my fears started to creep in. Although it was incredibly cold I was still afraid of a bear coming into the camp in the middle of the night. I was afraid of all manner of other creatures too: coyotes, wolves, panthers, mountain lions, bats, etc. My sincere prayer was that God would put me to sleep quickly and that I would awake the next morning. This is far from what actually happened. I was up every single hour but one. Freezing and petrified, it took me a long time to get back to sleep when I would wake.

As I lay there around 3 AM, I began thinking “God, you could let me sleep if you wanted to” and that quickly shifted to, “God, you could let me sleep if you WANTED ME TO”. I lay still to listen to the lesson.

Kyle and I (and our three boys) work in a group home. We often get children in an emergency placement situation who have never been in a setting like ours. While we do everything possible to ensure that our children are always safe, there is always an element of fear in a new place.

I put myself in the shoes of our intakes.

Afraid.

In an unknown place.

Unsure of who is around me.

Not sure what will happen the next day.

I felt this deeply because I was experiencing it also. The difference is that I had not been through trauma before I arrived here. Each of our residents has, at the very least, been through the trauma of being separated from their families. Often times they have been through much worse than this.

I slept from 4-6 and then watched a cold sunrise, which helped to ease my fears.

The sun shed light on the situation and I was no longer afraid.

For our girls, the SON can shed light on the situation and take away their fears.

The next morning

As we did not know exactly which trail we had ended up on, we decided to hike out the way we came in instead of going forward unsure of how far it was to a trail end. This meant we would hike down the mountain and then UP TO THE HIGHEST POINT IN SOUTH CAROLINA.

I was grateful for my lesson the night before and happy to get warm and go see my kiddos.

God had another lesson in store for me.

The hike out was unbelievable. I could hardly enjoy the incredible view due to the incredible pain in my thighs and beating of my heart. The inclines were insane. I could not help but to think how crazy it would be to climb Everest.

The higher I got to the top, the steeper the ascent. At one point I literally prayed that God would just put me at the top.

This rang familiar.

We hear about mountaintop faith and mountaintop experiences with God. I do not often think about how hard it is to get to the mountaintop. It takes a lot of work. It takes a lot of perseverance and drive to get to the top. Just as in our relationship with God: those experiences are often hard-earned.

At one point during a decline my friend and I decided to roll our forty pound packs down the steep hill rather than carry them down. Mine did not cooperate, but her pack rolled most of the way down.

It is much easier to let the weight of life slide you into the valley than it is to carry the burdens of life to the mountaintop.

At what I hoped to be the final ascent, I rested and thought: we have three choices on the journey.

We can stop.

We can slide.

Or

We can scale the mountain.

The journey of sanctification is so difficult, but the joy of doing the hard work is so rewarding. The climb does at least two things: it strengthens our legs and it strengthens our hearts.

To continue the journey with more love.

Praying the name of God and the power of His presence.

A few weeks back my three year old son, Maverick, started noticing how often people say “God” in their prayers. He would tell them, “you said God a lot of times!” He then started doing the same thing when he would pray, except, unlike an adult prayer, he would leave out all of the rest of the prayer. He would just say, “I want to say ‘God’ seven times!” and would just say God repeatedly. I did not know that Maverick was doing this with Kyle too, so for the last several weeks my three year old son has just been praying the name of God. Today I think he must be more sanctified than the rest of us. On Sunday our pastor spoke about how God had been showing him the importance of praying for the presence of the Lord in the midst of our hardships.

I cried in prayer, realizing that I often do not pray through something because I simply feel like words are not enough to bring before God. I prayed for His presence instead. I prayed the name of God and asked for His presence and that was all. It was so powerful. It was powerful because it is biblical and it was just what I needed.

In the exodus God promised his people, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest” (Ex. 33:14). I am so thankful for the rest of God that can only be found in the peace of knowing His presence is with us.

The Psalms beautifully describe, “in your presence there is fullness of joy” (Ps. 16:11).

Praying the names and attributes of God reaffirms to us who He is and what He has done.

That He is Jehovah, the one who possesses all authority.

That He is Jehovah-M’Kaddesh, the God who sanctifies.

That He is infinite and omnipotent.

That He is good and He is love.

That He is Jehovah-jireh, the God who provides.

That He is Jehovah-shalom, the God who brings peace.

That He is immutable, transcendent, just, and holy.

That He is Jehovah-rophe, the God who heals.

That He is self-sufficient, omnipresent, and omniscient.

That He is merciful and sovereign.

That He is Adonai, master of all.

That He is Elohim, strength and power.

That He is Jehovah-nissi, God our banner.

That He is our comforter.

That He is El-Shaddai, God almighty.

That He is the answer to all of our prayers; In the name of God and in His holy presence.

Fruit

The word "gentleness" is normally used to describe an action... a gentle touch, a gentle hugs, etc. So it can be difficult to understand the word gentleness as a personal characteristic on its own. However, the Bible teaches us that the result of having the Holy Spirit is that we are gentle, along with peaceful, loving, joyful, patient, kind, compassionate, good, and full of self-control. 

For those who have been believers for some time the fruit of the Spirit can become commonplace and lose some of it's purpose. When we look into these characteristics, though, we more often seen a wish list of what we hope to find in the people who surround us. I've recently found that I am lacking in some of these areas. This is especially true for the way that I treat the people close to me. 

I am a Christian who loses patience daily with my children.

I am a Christian who responds unkindly to my husband at times. 

I am a Christian who strives for what's next rather than living in the peace of God's provision and protection.

I am a Christian who sometimes struggles with finding joy in my circumstances. 

I think I am good and I think I am loving but I KNOW that I am lacking. 

When I consider the times when I have been gentle, kind, loving, joyful, good, and peaceful, I see a pattern of what has lead me to be this way. 

When I think unkindly about someone, I do so in my fleshly human nature. When I pray for someone, I do so with the powerful intercession of the Holy Spirit.

When I lose my patience with my little ones, I do so out of human frustration. When I pray for them I do so with the powerful intercession of the Holy Spirit. 

I could go on, but my point is that when we intercede on behalf of others, we are more likely to view them with patience, gentleness, and kindness. When I attempt to work through something on my own I lose self-control, joy, and peace. But when I pray, through the power of the Holy Spirit, I suddenly possess these characteristics. 

The Holy Spirit is the forgotten God. It is just as important as God the Father and God the Son, but so often forgotten and unutilized. 

Our good Father gifted us with an intercessor and called us then to intercede for others. When we do so we possess the fruit of the Spirit. When we "pray without ceasing" as the Bible instructs us to in Thessalonians, we are constantly in communion with God's Spirit and we are peace, gentleness, patience, love, joy, kindness, goodness, and self-control. 

So as I feel like I am lacking I remember that He is not. I turn to Him, away from myself, bend my knee and bow my head for others and choose to possess the fruit that God so faithfully bestows. 

Obedience

As believers we have been given an example in how we should live through Jesus Christ. Yesterday, when reading this verse in Philippians, I realized that we were also given an example in how we should die. This is not a physical death of the body for us, but for Jesus it was. Scripture tells us in Paul’s letter to the church in Philippi, Jesus humbled himself, “by becoming obedient to death-- even death on a cross” (Phil 2:8).

We are called to be obedient. Our obedience is not to death, but instead to Life itself, in Jesus our King and God our Father. Obedience for us is following the example that Jesus set for us.

Jesus listened to the Father. To listen to the Father, we must spend time with Him. Jesus was so obedient to take time away from everything else to get alone with God to talk, listen, and simply be with Him. We are called to do the same thing.

Jesus loved. He loved us to the extent that He gave everything to prove His love for us. We are told to love one another as we love ourselves (Mark 12:31). I cannot imagine thinking of another person as often as I think of myself. Honestly. Jesus loved others and we are called to do the same thing.

Jesus was obedient to death. He died on a cross to give us direct access to the Father, through the Spirit. We are called to the same obedience. While Jesus’ death was physical, ours is a daily choice to let our sinful nature die. Jesus told us “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23). The denial of self is actively choosing Jesus and others above our own personal desires. John’s account of Jesus’ time on earth documents this passage:

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” (John 12:24).

I believe that when we are obedient to death of ourselves, we bear much fruit. Jesus was obedient to death and we are called to do the same thing. 

False Teachers

Shaming

Fifty years ago culture taught women to hide any part of themselves that did not line up with what was “normal”. Women should (and would) be housewives who stayed at home, cleaned their houses, made dinner for their husbands, and wanted children. Any woman who did not fit into this mold was shamed into thinking there was something wrong with her. It was a culture of shame and fear that taught women to hide their vulnerability and fall in line as they “should” or be ostracized.

Comparison Trap

In response to this culture, women began to judge one another. What was worse, emotionally, than judging one another was that women began to compare themselves to one another. Each person had to be better than the next. The concept of “keeping up with the Jones’” became common thinking. When women found that they weren’t measuring up to the same standard as their neighbors, they found that they would be made to feel better than those around them if they simply talked about all of the things everyone else did wrong. If Linda and Lauren could agree that Lisa was somehow unfit as a wife/mother/sister/employee, they would feel like they were somehow more fit as a woman.

Gossip leads to hate. The Word tells us that, “There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers” (Proverbs 6:16-19).

It hurt me to read that and to write it.

Because I am guilty.

And I don’t want to ever do something that the Lord hates, because I love Him.

… then enters social media, and with all of the joys of reconnecting with friends from school and old neighborhood buddies came the platform that everyone always wanted. A platform to share our innermost thoughts about any possible thing imaginable. Blogs, tweets, snaps, and pages gave us the opportunity to put our self-important thoughts on display for all to praise us for.

We can be so easily deceived.

This social validation gave us everything we needed to make it a quick idol.

We’ve often heard the old saying, “time is money”. The Bible says, “where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matt 6:21). Our treasure is often our time, also our money, but often our time.

So, what do we do every moment it gets quiet, or we sit down for a second, or stop at a red light? Every time commercials come on or we are put on hold? We scroll through social media.

No, I don’t think that social media is evil. But, like all things, it is what we make of it. Therefore, if we allow it to consume our time, when we fail to make time to invest in our kid’s lives or in prayer or reading the Word. Then yes, it can be evil.

Not only that, but it has become our platform… and everyone else’s platform, to share their opinions, their voice, their perspective on the world around them. It created the opportunity to voice our dissatisfaction with anything and everything, including our neighbors and their opinions. 

Social media gave us the chance to put our culture on display, and then the culture shifted.

Acceptance

Women stopped shaming and comparing themselves to one another in an act of solidarity and began to just accept people as they are. 

Acceptance is tricky because it disguises itself as love.

The truth about acceptance is that when we accept other people’s sin we easily let our guard down and start believing that what everyone else is doing is right.

Acceptance culture and social media platforms have created a home for false teachers.

False teachers

The Bible teaches us the difficult truth of being a teacher.

“Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.  For we all stumble in many ways.” James 3:1-2

In the past, those who taught were leaders. Those leaders were looked at with intensity. Their lives were expected to be perfect and to line up with their teaching. Scripture warns us about how difficult that kind of living would be.

Today, we are all teachers. We each have an audience of people listening and watching our every move.

The Bible says, “Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us” Titus 2:7-8.

Based on this, as believers, we should be sure that anything we say in a forum where other people might follow it or glean from it, should be dignified and line up with the truth. The only truth I know is the Bible. So, if I teach anything that does not line up with that, then I am failing in my responsibility of being a sound teacher.

This includes when I tell someone that their behavior is acceptable when it is not.

A person who teaches something that is not the truth is called a false teacher. 2 Peter 2:1-3 says, “… there will be false teachers among you... and many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of truth will be blasphemed. And in their greed they will exploit you with false words. Their condemnation from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep.”

This type of teaching is so prevalent in the world today. The current message to women is that sin isn’t sin as long as it makes you happy, because that is what God cares about.

God loves you. He wants you to be happy, but not at the expense of your holiness.

Anyone who teaches you that acceptance is love and that God’s will is that you be happy is not teaching the truth.

The platform of social media and the propensity of false teaching is scary. It is scary because there are so many people desperate to hear some sort of truth in their life, and when what they hear lines up with what they feel they have the tendency to believe that it is truth.

Paul warned us in Romans 16:17, “to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them”.

Maybe this means we stop reading the internet and start reading the Bible. Maybe this means we stop talking to our friends about our lives and start talking to God. Or at the very least, we start talking to our friends that love God and love truth. Maybe this means we invest less in what our neighbors are doing and invest more in what God has called us to do.

That is what it means for me.

Because I understand that we want to hear what we want to hear.

2 Timothy 4:3 says, “for the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions”. 

The time WAS coming. I believe that the time is here now.

I am afraid for our world and our culture that we have stopped listening to truth because it is hard to hear and it hurts, and often requires us to stop doing what we want to do.

So instead we started listening for teaching that validated what we feel and what made us happy.

I understand that the very platform I am using to write this is exactly what I am warning against. I know that I am sharing my opinion while warning other people not to share theirs (without prayerful wisdom). I do so hoping and praying that it isn’t my words that are heard, but instead, the truth of the Word of God. I am praying that this message, that has been on my heart for several days now, somehow resonates. 

It really is a race.

This morning one of my girls and I went for a run. We layered up, stretched, went outside and mapped out our route. Half of the run is downhill and half of the run is uphill. The hills are awful because they last forever and zap your endurance. 

When your on the hill you want to stop. The higher it gets, the harder it is. The harder it is the more you want to stop. 

This is life. 

It really is like a race. 

When the Bible says "let us run with endurance the race that is set before us" (Hebrews 12:1).. it's talking about these days. This life that God has mapped out for us with all of its twists, turns, hills, valleys, and bumps, is our race to run. 

But, here's the thing. If you STOP when you are going up a hill, which we all want to do at times, because we are tired and feel we have nothing left to give, then we never grow strong enough to get to the top. It's the push that gives you the strength to face tomorrow. 

Because at the top of every hill there is the other side. The side that you get to run down. And the downhill is where you steady your pace, regulate your breathing and let gravity help you along. 

That's true in running and in life. Allow the "good" times to be an opportunity to prepare for the next hill. Regulate your breathing. By prayer and thanksgiving, steady your pace. 

Isaiah 40:31 says "But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."

Trusting the God of the path helps us to be renewed in our spirit and not grow weary in the run. 

This lesson was for me today.