I recently went on a hike with Kyle and two of the coolest
people I know.
One of my favorite things to do is to get quiet and listen
to what God might be trying to reveal to me. I try to share what I glean
because it usually seems to be important for the world, and not just for me. It
has been a while since I have heard one of these lessons, and I was hoping this
birthday hike might be an opportunity to hear from God.
First, this hike was one of the most difficult hikes
imaginable. We started by hiking down from the highest point in South Carolina.
We then hiked up the mountain next to the one we hiked down from. We found a
good spot for setting up camp, and enjoyed the evening. At nightfall all of my
fears started to creep in. Although it was incredibly cold I was still afraid
of a bear coming into the camp in the middle of the night. I was afraid of all
manner of other creatures too: coyotes, wolves, panthers, mountain lions, bats,
etc. My sincere prayer was that God would put me to sleep quickly and that I
would awake the next morning. This is far from what actually happened. I was up
every single hour but one. Freezing and petrified, it took me a long time to
get back to sleep when I would wake.
As I lay there around 3 AM, I began thinking “God, you could
let me sleep if you wanted to” and that quickly shifted to, “God, you could let
me sleep if you WANTED ME TO”. I lay still to listen to the lesson.
Kyle and I (and our three boys) work in a group home. We
often get children in an emergency placement situation who have never been in a
setting like ours. While we do everything possible to ensure that our children are
always safe, there is always an element of fear in a new place.
I put myself in the shoes of our intakes.
Afraid.
In an unknown place.
Unsure of who is around me.
Not sure what will happen the next day.
I felt this deeply because I was experiencing it also. The
difference is that I had not been through trauma before I arrived here. Each of our
residents has, at the very least, been through the trauma of being separated
from their families. Often times they have been through much worse than this.
I slept from 4-6 and then watched a cold sunrise, which
helped to ease my fears.
The sun shed light on the situation and I was no longer
afraid.
For our girls, the SON can shed light on the situation and
take away their fears.
The next morning
As we did not know exactly which trail we had ended up on,
we decided to hike out the way we came in instead of going forward unsure of
how far it was to a trail end. This meant we would hike down the mountain and
then UP TO THE HIGHEST POINT IN SOUTH CAROLINA.
I was grateful for my lesson the night before and happy to
get warm and go see my kiddos.
God had another lesson in store for me.
The hike out was unbelievable. I could hardly enjoy the
incredible view due to the incredible pain in my thighs and beating of my
heart. The inclines were insane. I could not help but to think how crazy it
would be to climb Everest.
The higher I got to the top, the steeper the ascent. At one
point I literally prayed that God would just put me at the top.
This rang familiar.
We hear about mountaintop faith and mountaintop experiences with
God. I do not often think about how hard it is to get to the mountaintop. It
takes a lot of work. It takes a lot of perseverance and drive to get to the
top. Just as in our relationship with God: those experiences are often hard-earned.
At one point during a decline my friend and I decided to
roll our forty pound packs down the steep hill rather than carry them down.
Mine did not cooperate, but her pack rolled most of the way down.
It is much easier to let the weight of life slide you into
the valley than it is to carry the burdens of life to the mountaintop.
At what I hoped to be the final ascent, I rested and thought:
we have three choices on the journey.
We can stop.
We can slide.
Or
We can scale the mountain.
The journey of sanctification is so difficult, but the joy
of doing the hard work is so rewarding. The climb does at least two things: it
strengthens our legs and it strengthens our hearts.
To continue the journey with more love.
