Lessons in the Valley

There is something to be said for the lessons we learn in the valley. The darkest times in our lives sometimes yield the most wisdom - if we allow them to. In my experience I grow seemingly much closer to sanctification when I have just gone through something that has required me to completely lean on the Lord. Those times when I realize that I have no one but Him are the times when I understand just how much I need Him and love Him.

It was during one of these difficult places that God taught me an important lesson. I feel like it might be one of the most important lessons in my life. There are many times that God reaches down and reveals wisdom that is meant only for me. However, this time I feel that many people would benefit from this perspective. 

There are times when the struggles we face lead us to a dark place in our hearts. These places are often littered with thoughts of our self-worth and empty value. While we may know the truth in our mind about who God says we are and the impact we might have on the world, in times of struggle it is easy to find all of this insignificant. To be honest, in times of deep pain it can be easy to find our own lives insignificant. We may even feel like we hope to die to avoid suffering any longer. 

At Christmas time we consider God's great gift of love. In doing so I realized something that I had never considered before. Scripture teaches that Jesus was a "man of many sorrows" (Isaiah 53:3). Jesus is God and it is hard to imagine Him as a person who suffers pain as well. The Bible is pretty clear on this, "he was despised and rejected" (Is. 53:3). He felt alone. He felt sorrow. He felt hated. If we continue reading in Scripture it is clear that He also likely felt unloved, like He did not belong, and betrayed by those He should have been able to trust (I'm looking at you, Peter - Luke 22). 

During the times in our lives when we feel sorrowful, alone, hated, like an outcast who is unloved or betrayed, we might wish that the circumstances which lead to us feeling this way had never happened. On the other side of this deep pain, we may have gained wisdom and insight that we realize was invaluable but few of us would say that we would choose to go through the pain again. I think we would likely all appreciate the lesson without the pain. 

Unlike us, Jesus not only would choose the pain again - but chose the pain the first time. He knew what it would cost Him. He knew he would be unloved and even knew that God would have to turn away from Him on the cross as He took on our sin. He still chose those nails. He still chose that hate. He still chose you. 

While we might say that we would never choose the painful circumstances that brought us toward sanctification, but we are glad that God could use it for good. Christ chose. He chose then and He would choose it again. If it were not for His suffering we would not have communion with God. We would not have the gift of the indwelling Spirit of God. We would not have peace or hope for tomorrow. 

The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. John 1:14

The expression of God that is Jesus was born into human nature to be with us.

He knew that dwelling among us would be difficult and painful. He knew He would feel alone, and be alone at times. He knew it would cost Him everything - but He chose to do it anyway because you were worth it to Him. 

I hope to remember this lesson. Christ was born to die. He chose to suffer - a man of many sorrows - so that we would never be alone while we are suffering. 

Lessons on the mountain

I recently went on a hike with Kyle and two of the coolest people I know.

One of my favorite things to do is to get quiet and listen to what God might be trying to reveal to me. I try to share what I glean because it usually seems to be important for the world, and not just for me. It has been a while since I have heard one of these lessons, and I was hoping this birthday hike might be an opportunity to hear from God.

First, this hike was one of the most difficult hikes imaginable. We started by hiking down from the highest point in South Carolina. We then hiked up the mountain next to the one we hiked down from. We found a good spot for setting up camp, and enjoyed the evening. At nightfall all of my fears started to creep in. Although it was incredibly cold I was still afraid of a bear coming into the camp in the middle of the night. I was afraid of all manner of other creatures too: coyotes, wolves, panthers, mountain lions, bats, etc. My sincere prayer was that God would put me to sleep quickly and that I would awake the next morning. This is far from what actually happened. I was up every single hour but one. Freezing and petrified, it took me a long time to get back to sleep when I would wake.

As I lay there around 3 AM, I began thinking “God, you could let me sleep if you wanted to” and that quickly shifted to, “God, you could let me sleep if you WANTED ME TO”. I lay still to listen to the lesson.

Kyle and I (and our three boys) work in a group home. We often get children in an emergency placement situation who have never been in a setting like ours. While we do everything possible to ensure that our children are always safe, there is always an element of fear in a new place.

I put myself in the shoes of our intakes.

Afraid.

In an unknown place.

Unsure of who is around me.

Not sure what will happen the next day.

I felt this deeply because I was experiencing it also. The difference is that I had not been through trauma before I arrived here. Each of our residents has, at the very least, been through the trauma of being separated from their families. Often times they have been through much worse than this.

I slept from 4-6 and then watched a cold sunrise, which helped to ease my fears.

The sun shed light on the situation and I was no longer afraid.

For our girls, the SON can shed light on the situation and take away their fears.

The next morning

As we did not know exactly which trail we had ended up on, we decided to hike out the way we came in instead of going forward unsure of how far it was to a trail end. This meant we would hike down the mountain and then UP TO THE HIGHEST POINT IN SOUTH CAROLINA.

I was grateful for my lesson the night before and happy to get warm and go see my kiddos.

God had another lesson in store for me.

The hike out was unbelievable. I could hardly enjoy the incredible view due to the incredible pain in my thighs and beating of my heart. The inclines were insane. I could not help but to think how crazy it would be to climb Everest.

The higher I got to the top, the steeper the ascent. At one point I literally prayed that God would just put me at the top.

This rang familiar.

We hear about mountaintop faith and mountaintop experiences with God. I do not often think about how hard it is to get to the mountaintop. It takes a lot of work. It takes a lot of perseverance and drive to get to the top. Just as in our relationship with God: those experiences are often hard-earned.

At one point during a decline my friend and I decided to roll our forty pound packs down the steep hill rather than carry them down. Mine did not cooperate, but her pack rolled most of the way down.

It is much easier to let the weight of life slide you into the valley than it is to carry the burdens of life to the mountaintop.

At what I hoped to be the final ascent, I rested and thought: we have three choices on the journey.

We can stop.

We can slide.

Or

We can scale the mountain.

The journey of sanctification is so difficult, but the joy of doing the hard work is so rewarding. The climb does at least two things: it strengthens our legs and it strengthens our hearts.

To continue the journey with more love.

Praying the name of God and the power of His presence.

A few weeks back my three year old son, Maverick, started noticing how often people say “God” in their prayers. He would tell them, “you said God a lot of times!” He then started doing the same thing when he would pray, except, unlike an adult prayer, he would leave out all of the rest of the prayer. He would just say, “I want to say ‘God’ seven times!” and would just say God repeatedly. I did not know that Maverick was doing this with Kyle too, so for the last several weeks my three year old son has just been praying the name of God. Today I think he must be more sanctified than the rest of us. On Sunday our pastor spoke about how God had been showing him the importance of praying for the presence of the Lord in the midst of our hardships.

I cried in prayer, realizing that I often do not pray through something because I simply feel like words are not enough to bring before God. I prayed for His presence instead. I prayed the name of God and asked for His presence and that was all. It was so powerful. It was powerful because it is biblical and it was just what I needed.

In the exodus God promised his people, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest” (Ex. 33:14). I am so thankful for the rest of God that can only be found in the peace of knowing His presence is with us.

The Psalms beautifully describe, “in your presence there is fullness of joy” (Ps. 16:11).

Praying the names and attributes of God reaffirms to us who He is and what He has done.

That He is Jehovah, the one who possesses all authority.

That He is Jehovah-M’Kaddesh, the God who sanctifies.

That He is infinite and omnipotent.

That He is good and He is love.

That He is Jehovah-jireh, the God who provides.

That He is Jehovah-shalom, the God who brings peace.

That He is immutable, transcendent, just, and holy.

That He is Jehovah-rophe, the God who heals.

That He is self-sufficient, omnipresent, and omniscient.

That He is merciful and sovereign.

That He is Adonai, master of all.

That He is Elohim, strength and power.

That He is Jehovah-nissi, God our banner.

That He is our comforter.

That He is El-Shaddai, God almighty.

That He is the answer to all of our prayers; In the name of God and in His holy presence.

Fruit

The word "gentleness" is normally used to describe an action... a gentle touch, a gentle hugs, etc. So it can be difficult to understand the word gentleness as a personal characteristic on its own. However, the Bible teaches us that the result of having the Holy Spirit is that we are gentle, along with peaceful, loving, joyful, patient, kind, compassionate, good, and full of self-control. 

For those who have been believers for some time the fruit of the Spirit can become commonplace and lose some of it's purpose. When we look into these characteristics, though, we more often seen a wish list of what we hope to find in the people who surround us. I've recently found that I am lacking in some of these areas. This is especially true for the way that I treat the people close to me. 

I am a Christian who loses patience daily with my children.

I am a Christian who responds unkindly to my husband at times. 

I am a Christian who strives for what's next rather than living in the peace of God's provision and protection.

I am a Christian who sometimes struggles with finding joy in my circumstances. 

I think I am good and I think I am loving but I KNOW that I am lacking. 

When I consider the times when I have been gentle, kind, loving, joyful, good, and peaceful, I see a pattern of what has lead me to be this way. 

When I think unkindly about someone, I do so in my fleshly human nature. When I pray for someone, I do so with the powerful intercession of the Holy Spirit.

When I lose my patience with my little ones, I do so out of human frustration. When I pray for them I do so with the powerful intercession of the Holy Spirit. 

I could go on, but my point is that when we intercede on behalf of others, we are more likely to view them with patience, gentleness, and kindness. When I attempt to work through something on my own I lose self-control, joy, and peace. But when I pray, through the power of the Holy Spirit, I suddenly possess these characteristics. 

The Holy Spirit is the forgotten God. It is just as important as God the Father and God the Son, but so often forgotten and unutilized. 

Our good Father gifted us with an intercessor and called us then to intercede for others. When we do so we possess the fruit of the Spirit. When we "pray without ceasing" as the Bible instructs us to in Thessalonians, we are constantly in communion with God's Spirit and we are peace, gentleness, patience, love, joy, kindness, goodness, and self-control. 

So as I feel like I am lacking I remember that He is not. I turn to Him, away from myself, bend my knee and bow my head for others and choose to possess the fruit that God so faithfully bestows. 

Obedience

As believers we have been given an example in how we should live through Jesus Christ. Yesterday, when reading this verse in Philippians, I realized that we were also given an example in how we should die. This is not a physical death of the body for us, but for Jesus it was. Scripture tells us in Paul’s letter to the church in Philippi, Jesus humbled himself, “by becoming obedient to death-- even death on a cross” (Phil 2:8).

We are called to be obedient. Our obedience is not to death, but instead to Life itself, in Jesus our King and God our Father. Obedience for us is following the example that Jesus set for us.

Jesus listened to the Father. To listen to the Father, we must spend time with Him. Jesus was so obedient to take time away from everything else to get alone with God to talk, listen, and simply be with Him. We are called to do the same thing.

Jesus loved. He loved us to the extent that He gave everything to prove His love for us. We are told to love one another as we love ourselves (Mark 12:31). I cannot imagine thinking of another person as often as I think of myself. Honestly. Jesus loved others and we are called to do the same thing.

Jesus was obedient to death. He died on a cross to give us direct access to the Father, through the Spirit. We are called to the same obedience. While Jesus’ death was physical, ours is a daily choice to let our sinful nature die. Jesus told us “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23). The denial of self is actively choosing Jesus and others above our own personal desires. John’s account of Jesus’ time on earth documents this passage:

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” (John 12:24).

I believe that when we are obedient to death of ourselves, we bear much fruit. Jesus was obedient to death and we are called to do the same thing. 

False Teachers

Shaming

Fifty years ago culture taught women to hide any part of themselves that did not line up with what was “normal”. Women should (and would) be housewives who stayed at home, cleaned their houses, made dinner for their husbands, and wanted children. Any woman who did not fit into this mold was shamed into thinking there was something wrong with her. It was a culture of shame and fear that taught women to hide their vulnerability and fall in line as they “should” or be ostracized.

Comparison Trap

In response to this culture, women began to judge one another. What was worse, emotionally, than judging one another was that women began to compare themselves to one another. Each person had to be better than the next. The concept of “keeping up with the Jones’” became common thinking. When women found that they weren’t measuring up to the same standard as their neighbors, they found that they would be made to feel better than those around them if they simply talked about all of the things everyone else did wrong. If Linda and Lauren could agree that Lisa was somehow unfit as a wife/mother/sister/employee, they would feel like they were somehow more fit as a woman.

Gossip leads to hate. The Word tells us that, “There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers” (Proverbs 6:16-19).

It hurt me to read that and to write it.

Because I am guilty.

And I don’t want to ever do something that the Lord hates, because I love Him.

… then enters social media, and with all of the joys of reconnecting with friends from school and old neighborhood buddies came the platform that everyone always wanted. A platform to share our innermost thoughts about any possible thing imaginable. Blogs, tweets, snaps, and pages gave us the opportunity to put our self-important thoughts on display for all to praise us for.

We can be so easily deceived.

This social validation gave us everything we needed to make it a quick idol.

We’ve often heard the old saying, “time is money”. The Bible says, “where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matt 6:21). Our treasure is often our time, also our money, but often our time.

So, what do we do every moment it gets quiet, or we sit down for a second, or stop at a red light? Every time commercials come on or we are put on hold? We scroll through social media.

No, I don’t think that social media is evil. But, like all things, it is what we make of it. Therefore, if we allow it to consume our time, when we fail to make time to invest in our kid’s lives or in prayer or reading the Word. Then yes, it can be evil.

Not only that, but it has become our platform… and everyone else’s platform, to share their opinions, their voice, their perspective on the world around them. It created the opportunity to voice our dissatisfaction with anything and everything, including our neighbors and their opinions. 

Social media gave us the chance to put our culture on display, and then the culture shifted.

Acceptance

Women stopped shaming and comparing themselves to one another in an act of solidarity and began to just accept people as they are. 

Acceptance is tricky because it disguises itself as love.

The truth about acceptance is that when we accept other people’s sin we easily let our guard down and start believing that what everyone else is doing is right.

Acceptance culture and social media platforms have created a home for false teachers.

False teachers

The Bible teaches us the difficult truth of being a teacher.

“Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.  For we all stumble in many ways.” James 3:1-2

In the past, those who taught were leaders. Those leaders were looked at with intensity. Their lives were expected to be perfect and to line up with their teaching. Scripture warns us about how difficult that kind of living would be.

Today, we are all teachers. We each have an audience of people listening and watching our every move.

The Bible says, “Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us” Titus 2:7-8.

Based on this, as believers, we should be sure that anything we say in a forum where other people might follow it or glean from it, should be dignified and line up with the truth. The only truth I know is the Bible. So, if I teach anything that does not line up with that, then I am failing in my responsibility of being a sound teacher.

This includes when I tell someone that their behavior is acceptable when it is not.

A person who teaches something that is not the truth is called a false teacher. 2 Peter 2:1-3 says, “… there will be false teachers among you... and many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of truth will be blasphemed. And in their greed they will exploit you with false words. Their condemnation from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep.”

This type of teaching is so prevalent in the world today. The current message to women is that sin isn’t sin as long as it makes you happy, because that is what God cares about.

God loves you. He wants you to be happy, but not at the expense of your holiness.

Anyone who teaches you that acceptance is love and that God’s will is that you be happy is not teaching the truth.

The platform of social media and the propensity of false teaching is scary. It is scary because there are so many people desperate to hear some sort of truth in their life, and when what they hear lines up with what they feel they have the tendency to believe that it is truth.

Paul warned us in Romans 16:17, “to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them”.

Maybe this means we stop reading the internet and start reading the Bible. Maybe this means we stop talking to our friends about our lives and start talking to God. Or at the very least, we start talking to our friends that love God and love truth. Maybe this means we invest less in what our neighbors are doing and invest more in what God has called us to do.

That is what it means for me.

Because I understand that we want to hear what we want to hear.

2 Timothy 4:3 says, “for the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions”. 

The time WAS coming. I believe that the time is here now.

I am afraid for our world and our culture that we have stopped listening to truth because it is hard to hear and it hurts, and often requires us to stop doing what we want to do.

So instead we started listening for teaching that validated what we feel and what made us happy.

I understand that the very platform I am using to write this is exactly what I am warning against. I know that I am sharing my opinion while warning other people not to share theirs (without prayerful wisdom). I do so hoping and praying that it isn’t my words that are heard, but instead, the truth of the Word of God. I am praying that this message, that has been on my heart for several days now, somehow resonates. 

It really is a race.

This morning one of my girls and I went for a run. We layered up, stretched, went outside and mapped out our route. Half of the run is downhill and half of the run is uphill. The hills are awful because they last forever and zap your endurance. 

When your on the hill you want to stop. The higher it gets, the harder it is. The harder it is the more you want to stop. 

This is life. 

It really is like a race. 

When the Bible says "let us run with endurance the race that is set before us" (Hebrews 12:1).. it's talking about these days. This life that God has mapped out for us with all of its twists, turns, hills, valleys, and bumps, is our race to run. 

But, here's the thing. If you STOP when you are going up a hill, which we all want to do at times, because we are tired and feel we have nothing left to give, then we never grow strong enough to get to the top. It's the push that gives you the strength to face tomorrow. 

Because at the top of every hill there is the other side. The side that you get to run down. And the downhill is where you steady your pace, regulate your breathing and let gravity help you along. 

That's true in running and in life. Allow the "good" times to be an opportunity to prepare for the next hill. Regulate your breathing. By prayer and thanksgiving, steady your pace. 

Isaiah 40:31 says "But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."

Trusting the God of the path helps us to be renewed in our spirit and not grow weary in the run. 

This lesson was for me today. 

Make the bed

Life is so chaotic. Everyone experiences different seasons at different times, but I think that it's safe to say: life is so chaotic. Sometimes it's good chaos, sometimes it's a beautiful mess and other times it's nearly impossible to navigate.

I've started making the bed. I'm sure that I am a terrible woman for not making it regularly before, but I didn't see the point as a single person. Now, I rarely have time for something as simple as making the bed. But I do it. Every single day. Having the bed made makes me feel better. It's like a good hair day in the midst of 100 bad ones. It brings a tiny bit of peace to my life. The made-up bed doesn't hide the laundry that still needs to be put away. It doesn't make the toys strewn from one end of the house to the other any less messy, but it does remind me that the chaos is never going to destroy me.

It's a simple act that reminds me of two things.

1.) Peace often comes by active choice.

The Bible tells us repeatedly not to fear. Yet our lives are crippled by it.

We know that comparison is the thief of joy but we absent-mindedly do it anyway.

Striving only brings stress and anxiety but we continue to bring forth our best efforts of busy schedules to prove ourselves worthy... to ourselves.

We must choose peace. Just as I choose to make the bed regardless of the time I don't have.  The act of laying down all fear, striving, comparison and anxiety and putting on peace is exactly what God instructs us to do. His yoke is light and our burdens are heavy. He offers to trade.

2.) It's not all bad.

I love my children with an amazing amount of love. More than I dreamed I could love. I love my husband, I love my job, I like the puppy, and I enjoy school. BUT, boy is it hard. Life is chaotic, remember?

It is easy to become bogged down by the work of each day and forget the joy that's available in the little moments.

I look at the laundry, toys, dishes and paperwork and can become overwhelmed. Especially when crying toddlers are desperate for my attention. The made-up bed reminds me that I may not be able to do it all, but I can do one thing at a time.

I start with the bed. Some days I don't get much more than that done, but that's okay.

The small act of making the bed in the morning reminds me that God made me and despite all of the chaos inside, there is peace and joy available to me when I choose it.

I should mention, my husband could care less if the bed is made. This may not be true for everyone else. This is a great reminder to me that it isn't his job to bring me peace and joy. That's a burden that wouldn't be fair for him to carry. Yes, he does make me joyful, and yes, he does help with the chaos. But the big picture peace and joy can only be found in Jesus. I'm so glad that He makes me to lie down in green pastures and leads me beside quiet waters (Psalm 23:2).

Lord, teach us to pray...

It is interesting, that after years with Jesus in ministry, the disciples had one request of Him. They could have asked Him anything, for He had the power to do anything. However, they had one request.
“Lord, teach us how to pray” (Luke 11:1).

His disciples had witnessed that the power of God was rooted in this time that Jesus spent in prayer. They had seen Him take time away, to Himself to pray. He had fasted and spent time with God, and was changed because of it. Jesus is our example, and He perfectly displays to us the power and importance of prayer.

While prayer is something that we can do, it is also a gift that we have been given. Jesus recognized this gift and often made space in His life for prayer. I have no understanding of what the communication between Jesus and God would have been like, but I do know that it was important to Jesus to spend time with the Father in prayer. Because of the time they spent together, Jesus knew His Father’s heart and constantly had compassion on His people.

How do we implement this kind of prayer in our daily lives? Obviously we face schedules that differ from the ministry schedule of Jesus. Our needs are much different and we usually struggle to find time to pray.

We are called to move beyond. Move beyond what everyone else is doing… move beyond the chains that are holding us back from past struggles and hurts, move beyond what is normal in the world that we live in. Simply put, we cannot live a “normal” life and also love the Father and honor Jesus the way that we should. Our lives have to be set apart (Romans 12:2). God has called us to make a sacrifice that is difficult to comprehend. The sacrifice isn’t for our very lives, like Jesus’ sacrifice.

But it is for our lives in a difference sense. When we lay down our own lives and offer it as a living sacrifice, Holy and pleasing to God (Romans 12:1), we give up living a life that looks like everyone else’s. The sacrifice is that we choose to give our time, our devotion, our heart, and our motivations to God. The first step in this is simply prayer.

Prayer is an incredible opportunity that we have to communicate with God. All relationships thrive with open communication. It is easy to think, “God knows what I am thinking, why should I tell Him?”… But all relationships require communication to stay healthy, and to stay connected. Prayer is a receptive attitude… waiting on God. It is an openness to hear from God. If we don’t spend time communicating with, and listening to God, how can we stay connected to Him? The very goal, and ultimate desire of our lives is to know God and be known by God. It is a gift that we can serve Him, but it’s even more important that we KNOW Him.

Prayer is moving beyond focusing on ourselves to focusing on who God is and what He wants for us and from us.

Prayer is proof that we believe that God is real, that we believe He is here, and He is working. This proof isn’t for others to know what we believe, but to reveal to ourselves where we stand in our relationship with God.

1 Thess. 5:17 says to pray continuously. This isn’t a command, that we should feel guilty when we fail to do us, because then we would all carry around that shame. However, it is an invitation and a gift to stay connected with God in all things. He cares for you.

Drive-thru faith

1948 brought us the first drive-thru restaurant, where you could be "IN-n-OUT" in no time flat. This concept is a picture of how individuals want to live their lives. We want what we are craving and we want it quickly and easily. Immediate gratification. This is true for Internet speed, education, meals and more.

But it has been said, "nothing worth having comes easy".

It seems as though faith has become a drive-thru concept for our society. We want church made easy.. online sermons or churches we can get in and out of without being noticed. "We", as a people group, not necessarily individuals, look for authored Bible plans and scripted studies (yes, me too!). But faith is so much more than that. It's worth having and it's worth investing in.

I was an hour into homework that I did not want to do when I was instructed to complete word studies on a passage of my choosing. I chose words I thought could be important and once I got into the Greek I found the most incredible truth to the passage. Truth I would have missed entirely without this intense study.

I sincerely feel that God is calling us, calling me, to a more intentional kind of faith.

The difference between a restaurant and a drive-thru is the experience. So, we have to ask ourselves, do we want something quick, convenient and, possibly disingenuine? Or do we want to experience God?

Experiencing God means getting out of the car.

We have to be willing to commit our time, attention, energy, patience, emotions and resources to the experience. But the only way we will do this is if we really want it.

Rest

Sundays are crazy. Like, having a blender with no lid kind of crazy. At our house we have the “joy” of getting two toddlers fed, cleaned, dressed and ready in an hour. Less if we are lucky enough for them to sleep while we get ready. Most weeks we are also overseeing 6 other children getting up, fed, dressed and ready during this chaos. About ten minutes prior to leaving the house I usually start getting dressed and trying to make some sense of my hair.

This past Sunday was no different than the rest. Equally crazy, caffeinated and rushed. During church my sweet friend’s baby was fussy and tired. She brought him into the service with us and my husband and I quickly fought over who got to hold him (because he is the sweetest little thing). I held him during the music portion of worship and while I swayed him back and forth he laid his little head on my shoulder and got incredibly still.

Two things happened in that moment. First, I wondered about why it is so incredibly sweet to hold a baby and rock him to sleep. Second, I thought about how much trust these little ones must have in us to be able to fall asleep while we hold them.

Both of these realizations brought me to a place of worship within that moment of worship itself.

This is a picture, I believe, of what God offers us.

He says to us, “come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).

I don’t know any person who doesn’t feel weary and burdened at times. Or all of the time. This verse is for us! He is offering us an invitation to rest in Him.

There are so many more Scriptures with this same sentiment. He gives us green pastures to lay in, despite the fact that we feel the scorching sun and lack of rain at times.

… and when we don’t take Him up on the offer of rest, we have this reminder from David, “Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you” (Psalm 116:7). We sometimes have to tell our own souls to be at rest. We have every reason to be confident in the fact that God is good and He takes good care of those He loves.

“God gives rest to His loved ones” (Psalm 127:2B NLT).

We can trust Him enough to find rest in His arms. Just like this sweet little one found rest in mine on Sunday. We can relax our bodies, our striving, our worry and our minds and just rest in Him and in His presence.

Imagine the joy is brings Him when we do. It is the sweetest thing. 

We went on a hike.

We went on a hike.

Now, you may be thinking “oh, that sounds so nice”… but that is simply not the case. Kyle and decided to go on a hike together to Tallulah Gorge. This has always been on my list of things I would like to do, so I was very excited. However, I had no idea what was in store for me.

First, they give out 100 permits to hike the floor of the gorge every day. This should have been a clear indication to me of what was to come. It was not until after the hike was over that I read the sign in the lobby, which listed the floor of the gorge as an “extremely strenuous” hike.

To begin, we walk around and look at some of the views from the overlooks. These will take your breath away. We are simply in awe of God and nature. Then you walk down a few steps, and by a few I mean something like seven thousand three hundred and eighty-six. You think that walking DOWN steps is easy… but, you are wrong. My knees are broken.

At this point we come to a beautiful platform overlooking a crashing river with a waterfall just behind us. This is where we see the sign “permit required to cross”. That’s us. The permitted ones. How lucky.

As we open the gate to cross the raging river we see a young girl crying on a rock. We ask her what is wrong and she explains to us that she has dropped her phone and it is lodged between a rock and… a snake. I am asking for a description of pattern and wondering how we can cross the river without actually using these rocks when Kyle steps up to the rescue. Now, my husband is wonderful. He is funny, smart, determined and absolutely loves to help people. He will be the first to serve others in their time of need. However, up until this day I had never seen him as much of an outdoors-man. He will occasionally hike, bike, walk, or on a good day – run with me. However, this is simply because he knows that I have a love and need in my heart for it. THIS DAY, he was Mr. Trail Guide. That girl must have thought God had sent her an angel. He grabbed a stick, moved the snake and picked up her phone like he was Crocodile Dundee. So, we are starting out well.

We then attempt to cross the river. You should know that we are crossing on what looks like boulders, twice my size and sometimes several feet apart. I am wondering if maybe we took a wrong turn on the stairs, but here we go…

We get across approximately three rocks and I start praying, “God send me an angel!” At this point a nice young man, who described himself later as a TRAIL GUIDE! Goes ahead of us and tells us where to place our feet in the water so we don’t… you know, fall and die.

We get across and our trail guide is in the far distance with nothing but one footprint showing us the way that he went. At this point I feel like we have definitely gone wrong. Not only are there no paths, signs, or worn walkways – there are rocks. HUGE ROCKS. Everywhere. The only way to get anywhere is to climb.

Now would be a good time to tell you that I am not much of a climber. I once went to a rock climbing facility with high hopes of enjoying the views from a much more elevated state in the future. HOWEVER, about three step holes up I felt like I was going to faint and I decided that it wasn’t for me.

Kyle is gone. Up and over like he was born for this. I begin to feel a little weepy and get going.

I am not afraid of heights.

Or, let me put it this way… I have never really had a fear of heights before Tuesday morning. NOW... I think it is safe to say that I am afraid of heights.

We have climbed down the gorge, and down and down. Over rocks, using trees to pull ourselves up, over more rocks and then.

I would like to pause here to gather the thoughts that surrounded my COMPLETELY PETRIFIED disposition as we pull ourselves over a rock to see the scariest rock face known to man (or at least THIS wo-man). I would liken the angle to… the pits of hell. That is what it was like. Seriously, my shoes are SO slippery from the water and this rock points straight to the river, which runs to a WATERFALL four feet away. My entire body is shaking.

About that time three college-aged girls come racing through as if they were headed to a party. THEY WERE SMILING.

But did I also mention that they were barefoot?

Just as soon as they appeared, they were off. Kyle seems to have no trepidation whatsoever, although I recall him telling me a few times before that he was afraid of heights. I am shaking and wondering how I can crawl across the rock on my knees and elbows when he lovingly tells me to suck it up.

I took my shoes off (what? College girls are smart). And I crossed. It was terrible.

We continue on our path and Kyle is taking pictures and enjoying the scenery and beauty of the moment. I am still shaking and wondering if I am going to die out there.

We get to the end of the hike, which cumulates to a GIANT rock with a waterfall running over it, aptly named “Slippery Rock” which you can slide down into a pool of water to swim.

Kyle wants to do it.

I think he is crazy.

Then he convinces me by saying that I would regret not going down after we had been through all we had been through to get there.

We slide down and the water is so cold I cannot breathe or think or swim... apparently. As I am grabbing Kyles arm and trying to pull him down stream with me. He pushes me towards the rock to CLIMB OUT. Of “SLIPPER ROCK”, might I add? Not fun.

The trail guide is there swimming with his gal. He looks at my distress and just as he starts to come towards me to lend a hand, I manage to make my way out. At this point Kyle slips and slides BACK into the water, only to climb out again.

There are leaches on me.

We rest, relax and dry out.

We now have two options.

Go back the way that we came (which was awful), or cross the slippery rock and go up the other side (70 degree angle for half of a mile). I decide that there is no way on earth that I will attempt anything more difficult than what we have just been through. Simply because, I know we got through the path once and I almost didn’t make it.

So we (I) decide we should go back the way that we came.

I am still barefoot because, turns out, those girls knew a thing or two about hiking the gorge floor, and I didn’t die.

We go back, cross the rocks, turn around a few times, climb, jump, pull ourselves over and then reach the rock face again. I cannot move other than the trembling that has taken over my entire body. I had no idea I would react this way to fear, but low and behold, there I was.

I’ve been praying this entire time, but at this point I begin to think about the Proverbs that speak of God keeping our feet on the right path.

In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will make straight your paths (Prov 3:6).

Your Word is a light unto my path and a lamp unto my feet…

My favorite… “The Lord will be at your right side and will keep your foot from being caught” (Prov 3:26).

I am asking God to direct us and protect us. Kyle is slightly impatient with me as I tell him I just don’t feel ready to cross yet.

He turns around, holds my hand and walks with me.

These are the lessons from our day.

First, we got a great picture of the importance of having a husband as a leader and being a wife who trusts and follows.

Without Kyle I would still be sitting in the gorge crying.

Also, it reminded me of how danger is ON EVERY SIDE of the righteous path. If we considered the dangers of our thoughts and actions as we would if there were a waterfall underfoot, it might be more serious. The danger IS that serious. God desires for us to stay on the right path. He leads, directs and guides us in the ways that we should go. In love, He provides helpers to us. Even one foot that goes astray can land you in deep water.

In the end I crossed the rocks... all of them. Got to the river crossing and held on for dear life to the rock ledge right where the snake once laid. I didn’t care. I just wanted to be done.

I thanked God for bringing us out safely… and then climbed 7,386 steps back to the top.

So, that was our experience. The take away is this… I am glad we did it. I WONT EVER DO IT AGAIN. However, I am grateful God gave us these lessons while surrounded by beautiful scenery. 

And I am grateful for my rugged, outdoors-man of a husband who literally kept me alive out there!

PS. I could barely walk for two days afterward. 

Truth

God is the ultimate Being of beings, self-existent, eternal and unchangeable. He spans from before the beginning of time and after the end of all that is known. It is impossible for us to understand who God is, simply because His existence goes so far beyond what we can comprehend. Our comprehension was created by God, and we can understand so much about Him but still only know so little. Our understanding of who God is will completely change who we are. As one brilliant thinker put it, “what comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us” (Tozer).

God came to us in three complete parts. He is the Father. The Father of life, the Father of Jesus and the Father of us. He is the source and originator of everything that we know, as well as of all that we do not know. “God is love” (1 John 4:8). The outward expression of this love, that is His very being, is Jesus. Jesus is how God chose to enter into our lives on a personal level. He is both the Son of God as well as God Himself. God, through Jesus, displayed just how much He loves man through His sacrifice and self-sacrifice. The death and resurrection of Jesus is what allows there to be direct access between God and man (Ephesians 2:18). Jesus is how God chose for us to understand who He and the Spirit are. The Holy Spirit, the third person of God, might be the most difficult to understand. “As Jesus ascended into heaven, He promised to send the Holy Spirit—the Helper—so that we could be true and living witnesses for Christ” (Forgotten God). The Holy Spirit is the power of God living inside of us. The Spirit is our teacher and also our access to God’s Words over us (John 14:26). The Spirit of God is a gift to believers. The Spirit is our Helper in hard times as well as our Intercessor to God (Romans 8:26). Without the Holy Spirit in our lives we are simply people, created by God, with the influence of the past works of Jesus. The Spirit is what creates relationship between God and man. Relationship is not possible without communication. Communication is not possible without the Holy Spirit. A relationship with God is the only hope for mankind.  

Man is created by God with an overwhelming need to be reunited to God. “God created mankind in His own image” (Genesis 1:27). A likeness to God in mere personality… comes far short of answering the demands of the scriptures.

Men are creators. God sent man with the mission to be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1:28). This God-given mission made man, through God, fellow creators of life. The purpose of man was for relationship with God. That relationship was broken when Adam and Eve first partook in sin. Without that relationship there was no purpose for man. There was no hope for restitution or reconciliation with God. Then Jesus stepped into the picture. Man was then given the opportunity to reunite with God. The purpose of man is now to bring other people into that unity with God. Believers have been called to “make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit” (Matthew 28:19). Man has been given the mission to pursue God in Christ-likeness in both actions and in relationship with God.

Sin is the cause of the separation of God and man. Sin includes a failure to do what is right. But sin also offends people; it is violence and lovelessness toward other people, and ultimately, rebellion against God. The problem with defining sin is that it originates in the heart, and cannot always be seen or even known by other men. We know from the Word that sin is in the heart of men. In fact, it even says “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it” (Jer 17:9)? In the beginning, God’s plan was for man to dwell in relationship with Him. However, man was not able to abide in this love relationship without allowing free will to bring death. Since the fall of Adam and Eve, sin is at the heart of all men. Every child of Adam enters a race marked by sin, condemnation, and death. God’s Word tells us that “When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam's sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned” (Romans 5:12 NLT). This message is not always easy to teach. People don’t find that messages about how bad they are make them feel very good. Nevertheless, “the message of human sinfulness is integral to the apostolic message… leaving out that message or ignoring it is not an option if we wish to be faithful to Scripture” (Robbins 269). Without the knowledge and understanding of sin man cannot understand the forgiveness of Christ. Therefore, the message of love is lost without the message of sin.

The knowledge of God, man and sin leads to a deep-seeded need for the knowledge of salvation. Salvation is hope. It is the only hope that mankind has. The word salvation is first used to describe the deliverance of God’s people, the Israelites, out of their captivity in Egypt. The most common Hebrew word used for this action can be defined as “to save, help in distress, rescue, deliver, set free” (Bakers). This Hebrew translation helps to define what salvation means for mankind. Jesus literally rescued us from our own path towards death and destruction. He set us free from our sin so that we could be reconciled to God. In the Old Testament we learn about how only the high priest had the ability to enter the Holy of Holies and be in the presence of God. Even this was done with washing and great ceremony. “But only the high priest entered the inner room, and that only once a year, and never without blood, which he offered for himself and for the sins the people had committed in ignorance” (Hebrews 9:7). At the very moment that Jesus breathed his last breath on the cross, the veil that separated the people of God from the Holy of Holies was ripped in two pieces, from top to bottom (Matthew 27:51). His death meant that man would no longer be separated from God. For man is one with God. His plan from the beginning remains intact. He made man for Himself, and we are still for Him. Salvation is the restoration He hopes of for us. “The total work of God by which He seeks to rescue man from the ruin, doom, and power of sin and bestows upon him the wealth of His grace encompassing eternal life, provision for abundant life now, and eternal glory” (Keathley III).

Scripture is God-breathed. As the Word tells us, “in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God” (John 1:1). Scripture is the written representation of God Himself, and has been from the beginning. To love the Lord is to love His Word. The Word of God is a gift given to us as a guiding light to our path. Prior to the Bible, man only had verbal stories of what Jesus did. The scrolls of the Old Testament were often only read by those who grew up in religious faith. The Bible we know today gives each person the opportunity to read for himself what God did throughout the history of mankind. It is an account of the works of God throughout the days prior to Jesus, and prophecies of the coming Messiah. It is also our account of Jesus’ time here on Earth and the impact He began to make then. Finally, it is a documentation of His crucifixion and resurrection. The aftermath of His sacrifice also lead to letters that we have at our disposal to read for assurance, encouragement, instruction, structure, and discipline. The Word of God is living and active (Hebrews 4:12). It gives us what we need when we need it. It offers peace, comfort and the knowledge to the Way of salvation. It can be difficult to stress the importance of the Word of God. However, the practical application is a habit that will bring us into a place of peace and immense growth in life. It is imperative in a Christian walk that the Bible be studied, followed and respected. People sometimes find it difficult to put stock in anything other than what other people think about them. Francis Chan describes why the Bible is needed like this, “it is where we find truth. It is what God say about Himself. Everyone has an opinion about what is right and what is wrong… we all think differently… what scripture says, is the grass is going to wither and the flowers fade but the Word of our God will stand forever. At the end of the day we are not going to be judged by people we are going to be judged by God Himself ... when this is all over it is going to be about God’s word and His authority is the only authority” (Chan). This is the truth about the Scriptures.

God’s love for mankind is breathtaking. His plan for relationship and the reconciliation of that broken relationship is displayed to us in the person of Jesus, the work of Salvation, and the very Words of God. Sin separates man from God. However, the most important thing for each and every person to know is that love always wins. God created a Way to bridge the divide that Man made between himself and God. That Way is Jesus. The understanding of who God is and what He did for us is what leads people from death to life. 

An Invitation

I don't know how often God communicates with us through dreams, but I do believe that it still happens. It happened throughout the Bible and we have no reason to believe that God would not communicate with us in this way still today.

That being said, I don't often have dreams that I feel are from God. Last week I did. I have spent the last several days soaking up this dream, praying about it, talking about it, and living in response to what I believe is the most beautiful invitation any person could ever receive.

In this dream I walked into a dark room. The only thing I remember seeing in the room was a table. What made this table special was the person sitting at it. There were three chairs. Jesus sat in one of the chairs. He was clothed but covered in blood from the crucifixtion. Across from Him sat Mary Magdelene. Her long hair was wet with oil, used to wash the feet of Jesus. Her clothes were also covered in His blood, as a result of her embrace. It was an invitation for me to sit with them. Jesus was inviting me to the table. As I sat there with Him, I have never felt so loved. It was a love that brought me so much peace. I cannot even put words to the overwhelming feeling I had in that moment. It reminded me of the love I felt for our boys when I saw their faces for the first time. The only difference was that it was love TOWARDS me, not from me. It was perfect love. Perfect, peaceful, without condemnation, guilt or shame. No questions, no obligations, no pitty or judgment.
No expectations, no criticism. No pressure, anxiety or striving. Just perfect love.

We have all been given this same invitation. We are invited to the table. To love Jesus, to embrace Him, to adore Him. And what might be the most difficult of all, to receive His love and to live in response to it.

The GOD who created us all, came in the form of Jesus and invited us to adore Him. What a beautiful opportunity.

growing up

I am so proud of my sweet baby Maverick. He decided to do all of his growing up this week! Seriously, he's hit so many milestones this week. (I think he was trying to make it easy on me for recording things in his baby book).

His precious milestones have me thinking. Its funny how proud Kyle and I are of Maverick for doing the most simple things. He started clapping his hands on the day he turned eight months old. 5 days later he (finally) started crawling! That very same day he started making kissing faces, and took three steps while holding my hands. This morning he added a third word to his vocabulary ("this"... Which is his brothers favorite!).

Although these things are completely normal in the day to day of adults, they are huge for my tiny eight month old.

I'm proud of him. Immensly proud. He's brilliant and grown up to me in so many ways.

I think God sees us like this. He is equally or even more proud of us when we hit milestones.. When we finally let go of pain and anger, when we take those negative thoughts captive, when we walk away from gossip, when we pray through our frustration in the peace and joy that can only come from Christ.
We grow.. In little ways that aren't huge for a perfect God, but that are huge for imperfect people like us.
He's proud when we grow like I'm proud when mavy rolls over and pops up on his tiny hands and knees.

It might not mean much to anyone else but it matters a great deal to me that I could make my Father proud. Simply because He is holy and I am not.

I'm grateful for His father heart towards me.

God Never Intended for Families to be Broken

God never intended for families to be broken. But we still live in a world with a lot of broken families. I am familiar with this because I come from one. I am sure I don’t remember the struggles my mom/dad/step-dad had as I grew up with the intensity that they felt those struggles at the time, but I do know that it wasn’t easy. Now I am the stepparent and almost every day I tell myself “God never intended for families to be broken, and that is why this is so hard”. I repeat this so that maybe I will be a little easier on myself when, at the end of the day, I inevitably feel like I was a complete failure as a stepparent.

Today I am feeling like that because I read this incredible blog that a friend posted called 20 Things I Want My Daughters to Understand about Being a Woman. When I clicked on the link I fully expected to identify with all of the things and want to share the link myself because those would be the same things I wanted my stepdaughter to understand about being a woman. Instead I read the blog and thought, “how do I teach these incredibly important concepts to a child I barely get to know?” Parenting is hard work. It is the hardest and the most important work a person can do. It is made that much harder when you have limited amount of time to do it.

I could have shared the link and maybe everyone would read it and think that I was doing a great job investing time and wisdom into my step-daughter, but is that even right? The after math of reading this blog left me with a really uncomfortable feeling of not being enough as a step-mother.

Then I wondered if I was the only step-parent feeling this way. I thought about the hundreds of blogs that are likely out there dedicated to step-moms and step-dads who feel completely inadequate in the upbringing of their step-children… and then I thought – maybe someone can identify with what I am feeling and benefit from some of this truth.

As much as an encouragement to myself I want to share some of the things I feel like God is telling me through this situation.

1. The amount of time you spend with someone doesn’t matter as much as the amount of love you show them. Not the amount of love you have for them, but the amount of love you SHOW them. You might love your children immensely, but if you don’t show them they simply won’t know it. My step-daughter is a special case, because she has Williams Syndrome and emotions mean even more to her than they might to others. With that being said, this is a truth that I believe is true regardless of the child. The most important thing that I can do as a step-parent is to love well. No matter how much time we have together, and no matter how difficult it sometimes can be – the one thing she will remember is how I made her feel. If she walks away feeling anything but loved then I have not done my job as a stepparent.

“WE LOVE BECAUSE HE FIRST LOVED US” 1 John 4:19

We have a great example of the kind of love we are to give.

2. The amount of time you spend with someone doesn’t matter as much as the amount of time you spend praying for them. This is true for all of the people we love. 1 Timothy 2:1 urges us “that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people” and if we truly believe in what the Word tells us about our Father and our prayers to Him then wouldn’t we pray? Wouldn’t we earnestly pray without ceasing? Truthfully, that is how you know how much you genuinely love someone – by looking at the amount of time you spend praying for them. One of the keys to this, I think, is that we not only pray for our children, but we pray for their parents. We are fortunate to be in a co-parenting situation with someone we can have open communication with and who we know loves well. Not everyone is. In fact, I would venture to say most people who are trying to make parenting/step parenting/co-parenting work are trying to make it work with someone who doesn’t make it easy. Nevertheless, if we love our children we pray for them and we pray for their caregivers. We pray for health, wisdom, goodness, financial blessings, and peace over their lives. First, because that is how God has taught us to love; and second, because those prayers directly impact our children’s lives as well.  

These might be simple truths to many, but for me they made an impact on who I am and who I will be in the future to my step-daughter. God never intended for families to be broken – and it is incredibly hard. But if I make it a point to show her I love her and I earnestly pray over her life and the life of her mom, then I know I am making a difference. I might not be able to make the same impact as a mom, but I know God has placed me in her life for a reason and I don’t want to waste that. I want to be a good steward of my position as her step-mom and teach her those 20 Things, but more importantly I want her to know she is loved and I want God to continue to watch over her life. If that is all I can do, it is enough.