Do what to my popcorn?

I am disturbed by the use of the word “pimp” when used to describe a car, a house, someone’s swag, or today… popcorn.

I LOVE a good magazine article while I am on the treadmill. Nothing makes those three miles go faster than reading about how to organize your thoughts, how to let stress motivate you, or how to dress up your most comfortable pair of jeans. Today I flipped to an article entitled “Pimp your popcorn” with a list of different ingredients you can add to your snack to make it delicious.

For the life of me I cannot figure out why anyone would use this word to describe something positive.  

A pimp is an agent (usually male) for prostitutes who collects part of their earnings. This act is called procuring or pandering. The pimp may receive this money in return for advertising services, physical protection, or for providing, and possibly monopolizing, a location where he or she (i.e. the prostitute) may engage clients…

The pimp-prostitute relationship can be abusive and possessive, with the pimp/madam using techniques such as psychological intimidation, manipulation, starvation, rape and/or gang rape, beating, confinement, threats of violence toward the victim’s family, forced drug use and the shame from these acts. Pimps can be arrested and charged with pandering and are legally known as procurers.

Via Wikipedia

In other words, a pimp is someone who makes money from the rape and abuse of a woman or several women. So why in the world are we replacing words like “cool”, “awesome” or “rad” with the word PIMP?

Have we become so numb to the misuse of others that we don’t realize what it is we are saying? Or do we just tell ourselves, it’s only an expression and doesn't really mean anything?

Verses like Matt 12:36 make me sick to my stomach. Knowing that I will have to give an account for every idle word I have spoken makes me stop and realize that I say A LOT. I don’t want the things I say to be meaningless and hurtful, but how much do we actually think about what it is we are saying?

Be slow to speak and quick to listen… James 1:19

Slow to open our mouths for no reason other than to hear ourselves talk, and quick to hear from those who are in need of serious healing and love.

Rapper Nelly tried to redefine the word "pimp" by saying that it is an acronym for "positive, intellectual, motivated person." This is who is influencing young people right now… a motivated person?? Motivated to do what, exactly?

I've heard this word used in conversation around me, but generally it's teenage boys or guys who say it (not that this is any better). I think what bothered me the most today was the fact that a woman wrote this magazine article, and it was published in a magazine written FOR women. 

I realize this blog post won’t change the vocabulary of the publisher of a magazine, but maybe it will help us all to stop and think about what we are saying and why we are saying it… 

The languages of loving God

As I began reading The Five Love Languages I couldn't help but think of my latest blog post. The idea that I am made in the image of God and that my need for love is OKAY because it is from Him and it is like Him.

Love is a basic human need. Research shows that it is absolutely necessary in life.

Gary Chapman is a marriage counselor and has done research to show that we all have five basic languages or ways to communicate love. As my husband (yay) and I were talking last night about our primary love languages I began thinking of our God and how He desires to have love communicated to Him as well.

The five primary love languages are:

Words of Affirmation

Gifts

Acts of Service

Quality Time

Physical Touch

God desires that we express our love to Him with words of affirmation. In fact, everything about Him requires a response of praise. Words of affirmation are just that, verbal praise for who someone is.

“I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised…” 2 Sam 22:4

“Therefore I will give thanks to You, O LORD, among the nations, and I will sing praises to Your name ...” 2 Sam 22:50.

“Sing to Him, sing praises to Him; speak of all His wonders …” 1Chron 16:9.

“For great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised; He also is to be feared above all gods ...” 1 Chron 16:25.

“I will give thanks to the LORD according to His righteousness and will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High ...” Psalm 7:17.

“I will tell of Your name to my brethren; in the midst of the assembly I will praise You. You who fear the LORD, praise Him ...” Psalm 22:22-23

When the disciples were asked to stop praising: “I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.” Luke 19:40

Nature worships God with praises of Who He is and what He has done.

“Ascribe to the LORD the glory due His name; bring an offering, and come before Him; Worship the LORD in holy array ...” 1 Chron 16:29.

Bringing an offering is showing love to God with gifts… a primary love language in man, and also important to God.

“Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” 2 Corinthians 9:7

“Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the first-fruits of all your produce; then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine.” Proverbs 3:9-10

Not only does God love to be loved with our giving, but also loves to show us He loves us by giving back to us.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

Acts of service are also an important way to express love to God.

“If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.” John 12:26 

“For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for his name in serving the saints, as you still do.” Hebrews 6:10 

“For who is the greater, one who reclines at table or one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at table? But I am among you as the one who serves.” Luke 22:27 

“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” Romans 12:10-11(KJV) 

“You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.” Gal 5:13

“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms.” 1 Pet 4:10

“But be very careful to keep the commandment and the law that Moses the servant of the LORD gave you: to love the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to obey his commands, to hold fast to him and to serve him with all your heart and all your soul." Josh 22:5

Quality time is the one way we naturally think we should love God; spending time in His Word, spending time in prayer, and spending time in His house.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matt 6:33

“I have not departed from the commandment of His lips; I have treasured the words of His mouth more than my necessary food.” Job 23:12

“As the deer pants for the water brooks, so pants my soul for You, O God.” Psalm 42:1

“Your word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You.” Psalm 119:11

“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

“My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him.” Psalm 62:5

Physical Touch is an incredibly important way for us to show love for one another. This one is rather difficult for us to imagine with God because we cannot actually touch Him. We can however, draw near to Him and He will draw near to us. (James 4:8)

“But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds.” Psalm 73:28

“Therefore tell the people: This is what the LORD Almighty says: 'Return to me,' declares the LORD Almighty, 'and I will return to you,' says the LORD Almighty.” Zechariah 1:3

I am really sensitive.

I am really sensitive. Everything about me… my skin, my hair, my teeth, my stomach - but especially my emotions. If you know me, this comes as no surprise to you. I can almost guarantee you have seen me cry at least once, if not 15 times in front of you. I cry when I am happy, when I am sad, when I am nervous, and for any other reason you might possibly be able to think of. While all this moisture in the eye area has not kept me from getting signs of crow’s feet, it has taught me a thing or two about myself.

It does not take much for me to become overwhelmed emotionally, and when I do I find myself saying exactly what I am feeling. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Hopefully there is not much ugly, but I know myself well enough to know I can’t leave that one out. When I don’t say what I am thinking out loud, I am saying it to myself, which can be just as bad. So while my blood pressure is rising, I can feel the tears coming on and my mind is racing - I have to pause. Please note, I am not very good at this. My dad is an incredible example of someone who is slow to speak and quick to listen… interestingly enough, his name is also James. James was the wise author of the verse which inspires this quality in believers. I have always admired my dad for his ability to be still.

I recently found myself in this position and I did stop. Instead of asking God for patience or perseverance I simply thought about how He made me.

I have an incredible need to be loved and when I sense that something is off with someone, I cannot go on until I have addressed this. This goes for everyone… I have stopped a cashier from scanning before to ask her what was wrong. I have stopped operators on telephone calls and asked them why they were upset. I just cannot go on like normal if I feel like there might be a problem. This might sound like typical “people pleaser” behavior, but I have found it is something more than that. I posted a blog not too long ago about impromptu “I love yous”. I have a need for those, and since I stopped looking for them from people, God has been kind enough to show me all of the times He tells me that He loves me throughout the day. Sometimes it’s with butterflies on my path, a perfect breeze at the right moment, or this morning… a coworker bringing me hot coffee right to my office (yea, God really loves me).

While thinking about this need for love I thought about God’s Word telling us that we were created in His image. That did make me stop. I KNOW that my character is not all from the image of God, but I truly believe this characteristic is. If I have a need to feel loved, a need to hear I love you, and a need to know everything is right in my interpersonal relationships – I know I have gotten this from somewhere. I stopped to think about how God likely has the same desire to hear “I love you” and to know we are in right relationship with Him. He created us as people with emotions and a desire for connecting with one another. He created us in Their image and I believe His desire is to have this same connection with each one of His children. To hear them voice their love and affection for Him, and to know that everything is right in their relationship. 

I now see this personal characteristic as His way of reminding me of how important it is that I tell Him just how much I adore Him.

This reminded me of something else my Dad shared with me. He advised Kyle and I in our marriage counseling to think of ourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of Himself… who being in the very nature, God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped. HE humbled Himself to death, even death on a cross. HE left a Kingdom to come to a manger just so we could know His love. This is our example. To think of ME less, and others more.

I believe Paul’s words in Corinthians about love go further than just not being easily angered and into a place of stillness and faith. God, who holds the whole world in His hands, loves me. I can trust Him in any moment, with any person, regardless of the circumstances. Simply because I know He loves me, and because I love Him and He gives to those He loves. He gives peace, and hope, perseverance, patience, endurance, mercy, grace, and the ability to know that He is God. 

Parenting 101

I am not a parent, and have never had the opportunity to experience what it is like to parent, until recently. God has been teaching me so many lessons already. Some of them are sweet and wonderful, while others are difficult and make me cry. For those of you who are parents, you probably have this stuff all down, but for me, this is all new.

Even before I was old enough to consider having kids I was overwhelmed with what a huge responsibility that is. You and your spouse are responsible for the kind of adult your children will one day be. Your responses, reactions, and life choices will shape their outlook and perspective forever. Scary.

No parent is perfect, and although I would love to be the first, I know I won’t be either. I now have the opportunity to semi-parent my fiance's 7 year old daughter. This means praying, a lot, that God will fill in the gaps where I fail, and communicate love even when I don’t do it so well.

He is showing me that I am like this child. I require incredible patience, kindness and protective love. For me, this is not always easy - for Him, it is who He is.

Parenting requires laying down my own, sometimes selfish, desires and plans to put first another.  It requires careful consideration of words chosen (My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak… James 1:19) If you want, I can finish that verse, “… and slow to become angry.” yea...

Then I consider myself as a child and realize that I so often have chosen to do what I want instead of what I was instructed to do – and God did not get angry or lose His patience with me. Instead, He allowed me to make my mistake and then lovingly revealed to me why I should have done it His way, and then allowed me the opportunity to get it right.

I have, knowing the right way, chosen again and again to not listen and do things my own way. My heart has been proud, my thoughts have been selfish, and my motivations have been completely self-serving.

I get frustrated when I see these characteristics in a child… but He is teaching me to love like He does - which is not in frustration, but in complete and sincere acceptance. Discipline in love and forgiveness – instruct and be patient.

In a moment when I felt completely overwhelmed with this task, I stood inside a bathroom stall at Cracker Barrel, cried and asked God, “how can I ever do this well?” And He told me:

“Strength for today

Bright hope for tomorrow”

He will provide the strength I need today – and I have hope that tomorrow He will do the same thing. For great is HIS faithfulness unto me… and unto you.

Rest Assured

I recently heard someone use the phrase “rest assured” and have not been able to stop thinking about it since. The words rest assured ushers in a sense of peace and trust.

I can rest, because I am sure… there are few things in this life that actually merit the use of this phrase. In a world of unrest and striving, there are many things we are unsure of.

I have been grateful for many years to be a person who faith comes easily to. A very dear friend of mine struggles and questions issues of faith, and has told me on numerous occasions I should be thankful that I simply trust without anxiety about the details of why. She is right. But even for someone who comes to faith without questioning, there is little in this world we can have faith in... if anything at all.

With that being said, the phrase “rest assured” brings me peace and trust because of the simple truth behind it. As the psalmist said in 4:8, “In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” We can both lie down and sleep – because we can be sure of this: the Lord. Not only will He make us dwell in safety, but He has promised us so much more.

“While they sleep He gives to those He loves” (Ps 127:2)

He has a plan for us – for a hope and future (Jer. 29:11)

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matt 11:28-29

“And this same God … will supply all your needs from His glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” Phil 4:19

“No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.” Rom 8:37

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Rom 8:38-39

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27

We can rest because we are sure that God’s word is true, that His promises are for us, and that we have everything we need through the One who is peace.

“Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure” Psalm 16:9

Impacts

I had such a great dream last night. I woke up with these words on my mind, “I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you”.

This could have been inspired by the Grady billboards up and down the interstate, but I know it was bigger than that. In my dream there was an older man who was unable to breath. A friend and I gave him CPR and got him hooked up to an oxygen machine. As he began to breathe with the machine more regularly he took his mask off and said to me, “I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you”. I woke up and immediately thought about the life and death situation we are faced with each day. Not to physically save lives, but spiritually to save lives.

The people we come in contact with every day are facing this same situation. They are either walking down a path of sin towards death, or of righteousness through Christ and toward life. We have the incredible opportunity to help guide people away from death and into life. We are making KINGDOM impacts with our lives and the message we send by the way we live it. I just wonder how many people will say “I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you”, in Paradise.

We are God’s plan for humanity. There is not a plan B. 

The good, the bad, and the honest.

I have not been feeling too “bloggy” lately… I usually write when I feel inspired and grateful and like God has given me some sort of revelation. It has been a few weeks since I have felt any such inspiration/revelation. In fact, I have not felt much like myself at all. I think I have trouble with “appropriate” self-disclosure. I disclose almost everything to almost anyone. If that makes you feel uncomfortable, you should probably just stop reading now.

I feel like I may be transitioning from season to season, and I don’t much like it… although I am sure there is a benefit to this space in progression.

Lately, when I leave conversations with people I don’t feel filled like I normally do. I LOVE people – I know I am called to reach out and encourage people, and I am so grateful that God gave me a heart that is sensitive towards other people’s lives/hurts/victories. So this new place I am in feels foreign, and unfriendly. I have to push myself to be myself… I don’t even know if that makes sense. This blog is really honest, and probably not too inspiring – but I felt like I needed to voice where I am in case anyone else can relate. A friend of mine posted something the other day about social media being a highlight reel of our lives... only broadcasting the ups. I agree, and so I thought it might be time for a little social media low-light “real” because this is real life, and if no one can benefit from your lows, and there is not a lesson being taught – well, then what is the point??

So in my unbloggy, unfriendly, emptyish frame of mind, there have been a few sparks of light that have encouraged me along the way.

1    A few weeks ago I posted about wishing to be on an island like Patmos. Although I was kind of kidding, and followed with a joke about sports equipment… my real desire was freedom from fear of saying or doing the wrong thing and an environment where God could reveal something to me, as He did John. Obviously I didn’t think I would be writing a book in the Bible, but I was hoping for something from God to wake me up from this. Well, I recently moved and although I was very excited about the relocation I have really had a difficult time being in the new place. I have been feeling incredibly alone and not enjoying that feeling at all (my friends with children tell me that being alone is the only thing they ever wish for… NOT. ME.)

My dad actually called me a few days ago and I burst into tears when he asked me how everything was going. I am so grateful for him, and for the way he encouraged me to stay strong and faithful and that God had a plan. 

Over the last few days I have started to realize that I am getting exactly what I wanted… an island. Although I am now in one of the most populated cities in the country, my new apartment is serving as a place of solitude and an environment without distraction for God to teach me. The transition has not been easy, and I know I am still in the process, but I am feeling more hopeful now that I see how He is working it for my good (through no effort of my own) and for His glory (by Christ’s sacrifice alone).

2    I am a part of an incredible church in the city. I cried on Sunday morning on my way in, just feeling so grateful to have a church family like I do, and to get to serve with a beautiful group of people. Our pastor noted something in his message on Sunday that really struck me. God could have promised a land to the Israelites that was free of enemies and obstacles. He could have, but He didn't.  If the Israelites had walked into the promised land on their own they would not have had the experience of relying completely on God. If the spies had come back singing about the great land, yes it would have saved them 40 years in the desert and a lot of lives… but how would it have affected their faith? And ours? We read about God’s provision in the desert and it strengthens our faith that He will provide, because He always has. So, the fight was worth something incredible. This is encouraging to me because it reminds me that the hard times… the “fight” for faith and intimacy in my relationship with God… they will lead to a memory. A history of God’s faithfulness, even when I didn't “feel” Him at work. It means that one day I will look back and remember this difficult season, and I will be able to say “never once did I ever walk alone”.  He is faithful, and as the psalmist said, I will speak of His faithfulness to all generations.

3    I am surrounded by people that God is using to encourage me in this time of not feeling very encouraging myself. Even as I was writing this blog post I got a text message from my dear friend saying that I was on her mind and that she was praying for God’s peace and favor over my life. It is such a blessing to have people walking with you who are sensitive to the Spirit’s nudge to reach out.

4    I actually don’t need to know what the future looks like, or what the plan is – because I know and trust the Planner. He always has my best interest at heart, even when I don’t. His ways and thoughts are above mine, and I can count on Him more than I can count on my own deceitful heart. He knew the plan all along, before I was even a thought, and all I have to do is stick with Him and He will lead me.

  

5    The God of angel armies is always by my side… a lyric that will forever be a light in the dark times.

6    Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I AM WITH YOU; do not be dismayed, for I AM YOUR GOD. I WILL STRENGTHEN YOU AND HELP YOU; I WILL UPHOLD YOU WITH MY RIGHTEOUS RIGHT HAND.” What a promise.

I am hoping that by my next blog post I will be myself again – maybe even a better version of self… less like “self” and more like… an elf. Just kidding :) 

I am trusting that this transition is progression, and that in the end I will look back in gratitude for the island and the obstacles. I know one thing -  I will be able to tell of His faithfulness along the way. He is faithful.