I am not
a parent, and have never had the opportunity to experience what it is like to
parent, until recently. God has been teaching me so many lessons already. Some
of them are sweet and wonderful, while others are difficult and make me cry.
For those of you who are parents, you probably have this stuff all down, but for
me, this is all new.
Even
before I was old enough to consider having kids I was overwhelmed with what a
huge responsibility that is. You and your spouse are responsible for the kind
of adult your children will one day be. Your responses, reactions, and life
choices will shape their outlook and perspective forever. Scary.
No
parent is perfect, and although I would love to be the first, I know I won’t be
either. I now have the opportunity to semi-parent my fiance's 7 year old
daughter. This means praying, a lot,
that God will fill in the gaps where I fail, and communicate love even when I
don’t do it so well.
He is
showing me that I am like this child. I require incredible patience, kindness
and protective love. For me, this is not always easy - for Him, it is who He
is.
Parenting
requires laying down my own, sometimes selfish, desires and plans to put first
another. It requires careful
consideration of words chosen (My
dear brothers and sisters, take
note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak… James
1:19) If you want, I can finish that verse, “… and slow to become angry.”
yea...
Then I consider myself as a child and realize
that I so often have chosen to do what I want instead of what I was instructed
to do – and God did not get angry or lose His patience with me. Instead, He
allowed me to make my mistake and then lovingly revealed to me why I should
have done it His way, and then allowed me the opportunity to get it right.
I have, knowing the right way, chosen again and
again to not listen and do things my own way. My heart has been proud, my
thoughts have been selfish, and my motivations have been completely
self-serving.
I get frustrated when I see these characteristics
in a child… but He is teaching me to love like He does - which is not in
frustration, but in complete and sincere acceptance. Discipline in love and
forgiveness – instruct and be patient.
In a moment when I felt completely overwhelmed
with this task, I stood inside a bathroom stall at Cracker Barrel, cried and
asked God, “how can I ever do this well?” And He told me:
“Strength for today
Bright hope for tomorrow”
He will provide the strength I need today – and I
have hope that tomorrow He will do the same thing. For great is HIS
faithfulness unto me… and unto you.
