Mom vs Mom

There are so many things that I love about social media. I know that many people have a cons list, but I honestly love social media. I love keeping up with family and friends. I love seeing pictures of fun adventures – growing kiddos – and sweet animals. I LOVE to read blog posts that other people share. So, recently I have noticed a growing number of blog posts regarding parenting. Specifically how women feel the need to compare themselves or compete with other moms.

If you know me well enough, it won’t surprise you that these blog posts generally end with me crying. I don’t know what it is (other than these fun pregnancy hormones) but I really feel so sad to hear about moms feeling like they have to compete with other moms. From the time I was in high school I remember living with this deep seeded fear of being a mom. I was so afraid of ever taking on the task, simply because it seemed to be so difficult. I remember having conversations with older women about this. Talking about all the things you could potentially do wrong, and how every decision you make could potentially impact the lives of your children. I remember thinking how important it was to choose the right words, and to encourage your kids, to be patient and loving regardless of the circumstances, and how to foster good body image and call out the person they were created to be. I have felt overwhelmed by the possibility of being a mother for years.

Add to that this new fear of not being as good as other mothers. In the nine months that I have been a step-parent I have learned that I am not going to get it all right. I have learned that you give your kids grace and you give yourself grace. That the house won’t always be clean and that dinner won’t always be very good… or very homemade. Parenting is hard.

Now I am starting the fear cycle all over again with a new little baby. The worries all started over about whether or not I am taking good care of him even now by what I eat or if I am drinking enough water. I started worrying about what the baby hears even now, and how that might impact him one day. It might all sound stupid – but I promise, these crazy thoughts pop into your head and there is no controlling them.

Now this - over the past few months I have heard all kinds of comments about this growing baby. If you have ever been pregnant you can attest to the brilliant ways people find to insult you. “You are definitely having a girl because your face has gotten so wide”, “wow, you look really tired today”, “You are definitely having a boy because your butt is getting big already”, “Wow, I cannot believe you are only five months pregnant, your belly is so huge”, “ooh, you look really bloated today”. That last one wasn’t directed at me, but to my pregnant friend who told me about it later… So, with all of these fun compliments I have started to get a complex (who am I kidding? The complex has been here a while). So tonight I saw a picture of a fellow prego on social media and started thinking, I wonder if maybe my belly is too big for five and a half months. So I did what any sane pregnant woman would do…. and I Google imaged pictures of women who were 22 weeks pregnant to see how I matched up (yea, that happened). After a few minutes of that I felt pretty ridiculous. Do you want to know why? Because every BODY is different.

 And you know what? EVERYBODY is different.

Every mom is different, every kid is different, every situation is different. We are all doing the best we can where we are. I am inspired every day by moms on social media. I love looking at their Pinterest crafts, their cute photo ideas, games they play with their kids, places they take their little ones, and personal victories moms have every day.

I have to actively choose not to compare myself to other women, but instead to be inspired by them. God has given each one of us so many unique gifts. They aren't going to be the same, and that is okay. That is how He intended it to be.

So - let’s take a collective sigh of relief, moms. Let’s choose to grow together as people and as parents - because it is never going to be easy… but it is always going to be worth it. 

A Voice and a Choice

Luke 19:39-40

‘Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Him, ‘Teacher, rebuke Your disciples.’ But Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, if these become silent, the stones will cry out!’”

Psalm 69:34
“Let heaven and earth praise him, the seas and all that move in them”

Psalm 93:3
“The seas have lifted up, LORD, the seas have lifted up their voice; the seas have lifted up their pounding waves.”

Isaiah 44:23
“Sing for joy, you heavens, for the LORD has done this; shout aloud, you earth beneath. Burst into song, you mountains, you forests and all your trees, for the LORD has redeemed Jacob, he displays his glory in Israel.”

Isaiah 49:13
“Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For the LORD comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.”

God created the earth and seas to praise His name – and they do it so beautifully.

His creation sings praises out to Him, even beyond the earth.

The stars cry out in song:

God has created us with this same ability. He has given us a voice. The only difference is that He has also given us a choice.

We have a voice to praise Him – but we also have the choice to do so. We can decide whether or not we want to use our voice to bring praise to His name. The mountains and the seas glorify their Creator. The stars and the whales can collaborate in a praise song together to their Maker.

We too can bring glory and praise through our lives and with our voices.

It’s our decision alone - each and every day we get to choose. 

my graven image

“Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image…” Ex 20:4 is probably not a verse a lot of us have been dwelling on lately. Idolatry, as far as sins go, is kind of out. We are more into things like, loving ourselves more than others, and gossiping… or maybe that is all the same thing.

In the exodus from Egypt, there was a real problem with the people of God worshiping an image of a calf. In that day and time it was not uncommon for people to have carved idols in their homes to worship. These little gods gave them some comfort. These days I still see little statues of Buddha, but interestingly enough that isn't “idolatry” that’s more of a trend – because Asia is cool, and Buddha has a cute gut?  

The truth is we are still worshiping idols today. I am not suggesting that we are purchasing tiny statues and worshiping them in our homes. Instead we are purchasing mirrors and worshiping ourselves. As believers, especially women, we have an image to protect. All of the “good” Christians are serving in some ministry, hosting people from their church in their home, in some fitness group, and a multitude of other things that would make wonder woman feel inadequate. Our multi-tasking life and trying to protect our own image can be quite exhausting!

 I am definitely not saying that it isn't important to be credible. After all, credible people are the most influential. There is a difference in credibility and perfection. We can only seek one, the other is made up of our own, true actions.

I left my house this morning and thought, “I can’t believe I didn't take the time to do the dishes last night” quickly followed up by the thought, “well, at least no one is going to be over to see them”. As if the only thing that really matters is whether or not people think that I made time to do the dishes last night… (PS. I didn't). I usually probably would not even notice myself thinking like this, but this morning God had me thinking about the images we worship today. One of mine is other people’s image of me. Interestingly enough, that is something I cannot control at all. We try! Social media gives us a great opportunity to try to manipulate what other people think about us. We spend a lot of time carving out our own image to dwell on. Perhaps the image we spend all our time protecting is the one we are worshiping.

In Ezekial 14:3 God says, “These men have set up idols in their hearts”

Not physical idols, but idols in their hearts. These might be the kind of idols we are walking around worshiping today. No one can see the unfaithfulness of it, so at least we look good on the outside.

The lyrics to a convicting Ross King song come to mind, “anything we can’t stop thinking of is an idol” – how much time do we spend thinking of ourselves and what other people will/might/are thinking of us?

Setting our minds on things above, as scripture tells us, keeps us from worshiping ourselves. Fixing our eyes on what is unseen, and dwelling on things above helps us to see ourselves as God intended. He is I AM, we are I AM NOT. 

“We must not worship something that`s not even worth it.
Clear the stage and make some space for the One who deserves it.”

A Mighty Warrior

A few weeks ago Riley went to Passion Kids, on the way home we asked her what she learned about and she explained the pond, the tent, the dance party and “the hero”. We pulled out her sheet and saw that she had learned about Gideon. We asked her questions about what he did and who he was and then read the story ourselves out of Judges on the ride home. The NEXT week we went to church with my sister and her family at 12 Stone and guess what the message was about…. Gideon. Kyle and I both looked at each other and kind of thought “how strange” but not much more. The next week… you guessed it, Gideon. At this point Kyle and started asking ourselves what God was trying to show us in the story of Gideon that was so important in OUR lives. The following Sunday we were listening to Charles Stanley speak and wouldn't you know it… Gideon. Finally, last night Kyle was looking at LifeWay’s website to see about getting a book and the home screen displayed a new Bible Study called GIDEON. We are convinced there is something very important for us to take away from the life and experiences of Gideon. From four different messages and our own reading, there are a lot of lessons to consider. On my way to work this morning these things hit me… I sent them to myself in a text message so I wouldn't forget. Although I feel sure that if I did, God would remind me again!

This is what I've gotten:

We all struggle with doubt sometimes. When God approached Gideon and called him a MIGHTY WARRIOR his first thought was, “Pshh, yea right! Me?” As believers we get down on ourselves a lot for doubting God’s words to us, and His plan over our lives. We are reminded in the gospel of Mark when the man says to Jesus, “Yes, Lord I believe. Help me with my unbelief”. It is not uncommon for us to believe, in faith, and then quickly doubt again what we know to be true. Gideon tested God. More than once he tested God, so that he could be helped with his unbelief. I don’t think God was “disappointed” in Gideon for doubting, He loved him just the same, just as He loves us even when we have doubts.

We all have a calling over our lives. As Charles Stanley spoke of this I couldn't help but get tears in my eyes. So many times I have thought, this calling is too big for me to accomplish… or, why would God call me to do something like this when I feel so incapable? The truth of the matter is, God has placed a calling on each of our lives and He is equipping us along the way to be prepared for that calling. Preparation is not always easy, but He works all things for our good and HIS glory. We can rest assured knowing that the God of LOVE has given us a task unique to our lives, and He is right beside us helping us to accomplish it.

Keep your eyes on God in the midst of the battle. When God sent the soldiers home that looked down to sip the water from the pool, I was convinced it was because He doesn't like double dipping. Kyle didn't buy that explanation, ha! Clearly God wanted to send only those who were aware of their surroundings and could focus on the battle before them, even in the moments of rest. In life we have to be aware that we are in a battle. “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (Eph 6:12). When we keep our eyes on God, and alert at all times that the enemy is fighting to destroy us, only then are we prepared to move forward.  

God will speak what is true even if it’s the furthest from what we believe. Gideon did not believe what God told him about his future. How often do we believe that there is no way God could love us as we are? God continues to speak these truths over our hearts: we are found, we are loved, we are redeemed, we are made clean, we are alive, and we have hope; IN HIM. No, we don’t deserve it. God has made us worthy by giving us the righteousness of His Son - and for that reason alone, we are His. We have been adopted as His sons and daughters and will remain with Him for eternity.

SO MUCH LOVE.

We may not have a lot, but with God we have more than enough. Gideon only had a few measly soldiers to bring to this battle against many. He knew there was no way they could win… without God. We may feel like we don’t have what it takes to pursue the calling God has placed on our lives. We might not even feel like we have what it takes to make it through the week financially.

God is enough. He is provider, and when we depend on Him we will ALWAYS have what we need. We have more than enough to do what He has called us to do because He MADE US and CALLED us Himself!

HE is a Mighty Warrior. Gideon may not have felt like a mighty warrior. I may not be a mighty warrior, but my God is. And… “I know who goes before me, I know who stands behind - The GOD OF ANGEL ARMIES is always by my side.” As Moses said, God if you don’t go before us, we don’t want to go (Ex. 33:15). We don’t need to feel capable, equipped, or ready. If God has called you, He will prepare you and He will go boldly before you.

Guard the Spring

“Above all else, guard your hear, for it is the wellspring of life” Proverbs 4:23

In all the instruction in the Bible, this verse says “above ALL else, guard your heart”

It is called the “wellspring” of life, because everything we think, everything that we do, and everything that we say comes from the “spring” of our heart.  That is why it is so important to guard it; to guard it against anything that is of this world, and therefore not of God.

“The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.”  Luke 6:45

Jesus told us in Matthew 5:8 “Blessed are the pure in heart”

And says in 1 Sam 16:7, “…The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

It is really easy for us to hide sin from other people. Unless confessed, we can easily pretend that everything in our lives is exactly as it should be. But God tells us here that He doesn't look at the outward appearance of man. The only thing that matters to God, is your heart. If God is looking at my heart, I know that is where I want to put all of my focus on “looking good.”

We spend so much effort guarding our appearances, especially as ladies. We watch what we eat, and we spend time exercising to “guard ourselves” from looking “bad”.

Think about it this way, how many of you would take cooking oil and wipe it all over your face? Wouldn't that be crazy? Talk about a bad breakout… We should guard our hearts the same way, just like we wouldn't cover our faces with something that we consider would make them less attractive. We also shouldn't subject our hearts to the filth of this world.

Now, you may not be able to see the “breakout” of your heart, but you will definitely be able to tell that something ugly is inside of you. Just like the verse says, good things come out of the good in your heart, and evil comes from the evil in our hearts.” If we are constantly surrounding ourselves with evil, on television, in music, and in the people that surround us, eventually our hearts are going to be just as bad. And it will start to come out in the things that we say, and the things that we do, whether we like it or not.

You might be thinking “evil” sounds a little harsh. Surely the shows you watch on TV aren’t “evil” and your friends, even though they don’t go to church, and they speak in a way that you would be ashamed to bring them around your pastor, you might still not consider them “evil.”

This is where we have to find out what God says about it…. After all, that is what really matters.

“The heart is deceitful above all things
       and beyond cure.
       Who can understand it?” Jer 17:9

Our hearts are naturally “evil” without God we can consider ourselves wicked. Every good thing comes from Him.

The law God gave to Moses has a lot to say about this evil – the command was that even if a man or woman stood in contempt (AKA had serious attitude) toward a judge or a pastor, they were stoned to death to purge the evil from the nation. Even children who were continually stubborn and did not listen were considered evil.  So the word “evil” might seem a little harsh, but this is how much God hates sin. He desperately wants to keep us from it.

We have been shown so much mercy in this. Though we are all sinners, and we are all prone to evil – the Lord loves us to much He has sent us His Spirit to guide us and help protect us from the evil of this world.

We need to continually be seeking the Holy Spirit to help guard or hearts against any evil thing - so that what flows out of our hearts will be good, and will be an example of Jesus, and His love.

Just like when you marinate meat in some kind of liquid, it will eventually start to taste like that marinade – our hearts are the same. If they are marinated in sin, they will start to become sinful.

A good way to guard your heart is making a conscience choice not to let our hearts “marinate” in sin. You will have to make serious changes in your lives. You would need to surround yourself with people who are working towards the goal of being like Christ. You would have to stop listening to music that continually talks about sin in a positive light, and you would need to stop watching anything on television or in movies that glorifies sin in any way. We would need to stop being entertained by the very things that put Christ on the cross.

These are not easy choices to make, and many people will chose not to make them. You will look different to friends, and to your family. But at the end of this life we will not stand for judgment before friends and family. We will stand before the One that looks at the heart, and He knows what effort you have put into guarding your heart against anything that is not of Him. He loves and cherishes His children seeking after Him and wanting to be more like Him.

 So may our prayer be Psalm 141:4, “Do not incline my heart to any evil thing…”

 God will help you to guard your heart when you earnestly seek to have a pure heart. And who would not want that kind of purity.

The Bible says in Psalm 24:3-5, “Who may ascend the hill of the LORD?
       Who may stand in his holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to an idol or swear by what is false. He will receive blessing from the LORD and vindication from God his Savior.”

Just think about how much time you spend getting ready for the day. Imagine if we spent that time focused on what really matters. And if what really matters to God would really matter to us, our lives would be completely different. We would lived “blessed” and in the will of God.

I recently read this illustration, and that I think really makes sense of all of this.

Have you ever watched an icicle form? Dripping water freezes, one drop at a time. If the source of the water is clean, then the icicle will be clear and sparkle brightly in the sunlight. If the source of the dripping water is slightly muddy, the beauty of the icicle will be spoiled. Our character is formed in a like manner. Each decision we make, big or small contributes to the overall look of our character. We must be aware of each “droplet”. Every habit is born out of the source of your heart.  If the heart is pure, each drop of water will work in transforming us into the beautiful image of God.

Above all else, guard your heart. And when you feel like you are too weak to guard it yourself, cry out to God, He loves nothing more than to be the Guardian of your heart.

Do what to my popcorn?

I am disturbed by the use of the word “pimp” when used to describe a car, a house, someone’s swag, or today… popcorn.

I LOVE a good magazine article while I am on the treadmill. Nothing makes those three miles go faster than reading about how to organize your thoughts, how to let stress motivate you, or how to dress up your most comfortable pair of jeans. Today I flipped to an article entitled “Pimp your popcorn” with a list of different ingredients you can add to your snack to make it delicious.

For the life of me I cannot figure out why anyone would use this word to describe something positive.  

A pimp is an agent (usually male) for prostitutes who collects part of their earnings. This act is called procuring or pandering. The pimp may receive this money in return for advertising services, physical protection, or for providing, and possibly monopolizing, a location where he or she (i.e. the prostitute) may engage clients…

The pimp-prostitute relationship can be abusive and possessive, with the pimp/madam using techniques such as psychological intimidation, manipulation, starvation, rape and/or gang rape, beating, confinement, threats of violence toward the victim’s family, forced drug use and the shame from these acts. Pimps can be arrested and charged with pandering and are legally known as procurers.

Via Wikipedia

In other words, a pimp is someone who makes money from the rape and abuse of a woman or several women. So why in the world are we replacing words like “cool”, “awesome” or “rad” with the word PIMP?

Have we become so numb to the misuse of others that we don’t realize what it is we are saying? Or do we just tell ourselves, it’s only an expression and doesn't really mean anything?

Verses like Matt 12:36 make me sick to my stomach. Knowing that I will have to give an account for every idle word I have spoken makes me stop and realize that I say A LOT. I don’t want the things I say to be meaningless and hurtful, but how much do we actually think about what it is we are saying?

Be slow to speak and quick to listen… James 1:19

Slow to open our mouths for no reason other than to hear ourselves talk, and quick to hear from those who are in need of serious healing and love.

Rapper Nelly tried to redefine the word "pimp" by saying that it is an acronym for "positive, intellectual, motivated person." This is who is influencing young people right now… a motivated person?? Motivated to do what, exactly?

I've heard this word used in conversation around me, but generally it's teenage boys or guys who say it (not that this is any better). I think what bothered me the most today was the fact that a woman wrote this magazine article, and it was published in a magazine written FOR women. 

I realize this blog post won’t change the vocabulary of the publisher of a magazine, but maybe it will help us all to stop and think about what we are saying and why we are saying it… 

The languages of loving God

As I began reading The Five Love Languages I couldn't help but think of my latest blog post. The idea that I am made in the image of God and that my need for love is OKAY because it is from Him and it is like Him.

Love is a basic human need. Research shows that it is absolutely necessary in life.

Gary Chapman is a marriage counselor and has done research to show that we all have five basic languages or ways to communicate love. As my husband (yay) and I were talking last night about our primary love languages I began thinking of our God and how He desires to have love communicated to Him as well.

The five primary love languages are:

Words of Affirmation

Gifts

Acts of Service

Quality Time

Physical Touch

God desires that we express our love to Him with words of affirmation. In fact, everything about Him requires a response of praise. Words of affirmation are just that, verbal praise for who someone is.

“I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised…” 2 Sam 22:4

“Therefore I will give thanks to You, O LORD, among the nations, and I will sing praises to Your name ...” 2 Sam 22:50.

“Sing to Him, sing praises to Him; speak of all His wonders …” 1Chron 16:9.

“For great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised; He also is to be feared above all gods ...” 1 Chron 16:25.

“I will give thanks to the LORD according to His righteousness and will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High ...” Psalm 7:17.

“I will tell of Your name to my brethren; in the midst of the assembly I will praise You. You who fear the LORD, praise Him ...” Psalm 22:22-23

When the disciples were asked to stop praising: “I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.” Luke 19:40

Nature worships God with praises of Who He is and what He has done.

“Ascribe to the LORD the glory due His name; bring an offering, and come before Him; Worship the LORD in holy array ...” 1 Chron 16:29.

Bringing an offering is showing love to God with gifts… a primary love language in man, and also important to God.

“Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” 2 Corinthians 9:7

“Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the first-fruits of all your produce; then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine.” Proverbs 3:9-10

Not only does God love to be loved with our giving, but also loves to show us He loves us by giving back to us.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

Acts of service are also an important way to express love to God.

“If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.” John 12:26 

“For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for his name in serving the saints, as you still do.” Hebrews 6:10 

“For who is the greater, one who reclines at table or one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at table? But I am among you as the one who serves.” Luke 22:27 

“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” Romans 12:10-11(KJV) 

“You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.” Gal 5:13

“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms.” 1 Pet 4:10

“But be very careful to keep the commandment and the law that Moses the servant of the LORD gave you: to love the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to obey his commands, to hold fast to him and to serve him with all your heart and all your soul." Josh 22:5

Quality time is the one way we naturally think we should love God; spending time in His Word, spending time in prayer, and spending time in His house.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matt 6:33

“I have not departed from the commandment of His lips; I have treasured the words of His mouth more than my necessary food.” Job 23:12

“As the deer pants for the water brooks, so pants my soul for You, O God.” Psalm 42:1

“Your word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You.” Psalm 119:11

“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

“My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him.” Psalm 62:5

Physical Touch is an incredibly important way for us to show love for one another. This one is rather difficult for us to imagine with God because we cannot actually touch Him. We can however, draw near to Him and He will draw near to us. (James 4:8)

“But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds.” Psalm 73:28

“Therefore tell the people: This is what the LORD Almighty says: 'Return to me,' declares the LORD Almighty, 'and I will return to you,' says the LORD Almighty.” Zechariah 1:3

I am really sensitive.

I am really sensitive. Everything about me… my skin, my hair, my teeth, my stomach - but especially my emotions. If you know me, this comes as no surprise to you. I can almost guarantee you have seen me cry at least once, if not 15 times in front of you. I cry when I am happy, when I am sad, when I am nervous, and for any other reason you might possibly be able to think of. While all this moisture in the eye area has not kept me from getting signs of crow’s feet, it has taught me a thing or two about myself.

It does not take much for me to become overwhelmed emotionally, and when I do I find myself saying exactly what I am feeling. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Hopefully there is not much ugly, but I know myself well enough to know I can’t leave that one out. When I don’t say what I am thinking out loud, I am saying it to myself, which can be just as bad. So while my blood pressure is rising, I can feel the tears coming on and my mind is racing - I have to pause. Please note, I am not very good at this. My dad is an incredible example of someone who is slow to speak and quick to listen… interestingly enough, his name is also James. James was the wise author of the verse which inspires this quality in believers. I have always admired my dad for his ability to be still.

I recently found myself in this position and I did stop. Instead of asking God for patience or perseverance I simply thought about how He made me.

I have an incredible need to be loved and when I sense that something is off with someone, I cannot go on until I have addressed this. This goes for everyone… I have stopped a cashier from scanning before to ask her what was wrong. I have stopped operators on telephone calls and asked them why they were upset. I just cannot go on like normal if I feel like there might be a problem. This might sound like typical “people pleaser” behavior, but I have found it is something more than that. I posted a blog not too long ago about impromptu “I love yous”. I have a need for those, and since I stopped looking for them from people, God has been kind enough to show me all of the times He tells me that He loves me throughout the day. Sometimes it’s with butterflies on my path, a perfect breeze at the right moment, or this morning… a coworker bringing me hot coffee right to my office (yea, God really loves me).

While thinking about this need for love I thought about God’s Word telling us that we were created in His image. That did make me stop. I KNOW that my character is not all from the image of God, but I truly believe this characteristic is. If I have a need to feel loved, a need to hear I love you, and a need to know everything is right in my interpersonal relationships – I know I have gotten this from somewhere. I stopped to think about how God likely has the same desire to hear “I love you” and to know we are in right relationship with Him. He created us as people with emotions and a desire for connecting with one another. He created us in Their image and I believe His desire is to have this same connection with each one of His children. To hear them voice their love and affection for Him, and to know that everything is right in their relationship. 

I now see this personal characteristic as His way of reminding me of how important it is that I tell Him just how much I adore Him.

This reminded me of something else my Dad shared with me. He advised Kyle and I in our marriage counseling to think of ourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of Himself… who being in the very nature, God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped. HE humbled Himself to death, even death on a cross. HE left a Kingdom to come to a manger just so we could know His love. This is our example. To think of ME less, and others more.

I believe Paul’s words in Corinthians about love go further than just not being easily angered and into a place of stillness and faith. God, who holds the whole world in His hands, loves me. I can trust Him in any moment, with any person, regardless of the circumstances. Simply because I know He loves me, and because I love Him and He gives to those He loves. He gives peace, and hope, perseverance, patience, endurance, mercy, grace, and the ability to know that He is God. 

Parenting 101

I am not a parent, and have never had the opportunity to experience what it is like to parent, until recently. God has been teaching me so many lessons already. Some of them are sweet and wonderful, while others are difficult and make me cry. For those of you who are parents, you probably have this stuff all down, but for me, this is all new.

Even before I was old enough to consider having kids I was overwhelmed with what a huge responsibility that is. You and your spouse are responsible for the kind of adult your children will one day be. Your responses, reactions, and life choices will shape their outlook and perspective forever. Scary.

No parent is perfect, and although I would love to be the first, I know I won’t be either. I now have the opportunity to semi-parent my fiance's 7 year old daughter. This means praying, a lot, that God will fill in the gaps where I fail, and communicate love even when I don’t do it so well.

He is showing me that I am like this child. I require incredible patience, kindness and protective love. For me, this is not always easy - for Him, it is who He is.

Parenting requires laying down my own, sometimes selfish, desires and plans to put first another.  It requires careful consideration of words chosen (My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak… James 1:19) If you want, I can finish that verse, “… and slow to become angry.” yea...

Then I consider myself as a child and realize that I so often have chosen to do what I want instead of what I was instructed to do – and God did not get angry or lose His patience with me. Instead, He allowed me to make my mistake and then lovingly revealed to me why I should have done it His way, and then allowed me the opportunity to get it right.

I have, knowing the right way, chosen again and again to not listen and do things my own way. My heart has been proud, my thoughts have been selfish, and my motivations have been completely self-serving.

I get frustrated when I see these characteristics in a child… but He is teaching me to love like He does - which is not in frustration, but in complete and sincere acceptance. Discipline in love and forgiveness – instruct and be patient.

In a moment when I felt completely overwhelmed with this task, I stood inside a bathroom stall at Cracker Barrel, cried and asked God, “how can I ever do this well?” And He told me:

“Strength for today

Bright hope for tomorrow”

He will provide the strength I need today – and I have hope that tomorrow He will do the same thing. For great is HIS faithfulness unto me… and unto you.