There are so many things that I
love about social media. I know that many people have a cons list, but I
honestly love social media. I love keeping up with family and friends. I love
seeing pictures of fun adventures – growing kiddos – and sweet animals. I LOVE
to read blog posts that other people share. So, recently I have noticed a
growing number of blog posts regarding parenting. Specifically how women feel the
need to compare themselves or compete with other moms.
If you know me well enough, it
won’t surprise you that these blog posts generally end with me crying. I don’t
know what it is (other than these fun pregnancy hormones) but I really feel so
sad to hear about moms feeling like they have to compete with other moms. From
the time I was in high school I remember living with this deep seeded fear of
being a mom. I was so afraid of ever taking on the task, simply because it
seemed to be so difficult. I remember having conversations with older women
about this. Talking about all the things you could potentially do wrong, and
how every decision you make could potentially impact the lives of your
children. I remember thinking how important it was to choose the right words,
and to encourage your kids, to be patient and loving regardless of the
circumstances, and how to foster good body image and call out the person they
were created to be. I have felt overwhelmed by the possibility of being a
mother for years.
Add to that this new fear of not
being as good as other mothers. In the nine months that I have been a
step-parent I have learned that I am not going to get it all right. I have
learned that you give your kids grace and you give yourself grace. That the
house won’t always be clean and that dinner won’t always be very good… or very
homemade. Parenting is hard.
Now I am starting the fear cycle
all over again with a new little baby. The worries all started over about
whether or not I am taking good care of him even now by what I eat or if I am
drinking enough water. I started worrying about what the baby hears even now,
and how that might impact him one day. It might all sound stupid – but I promise,
these crazy thoughts pop into your head and there is no controlling them.
Now this - over the past few
months I have heard all kinds of comments about this growing baby. If you have
ever been pregnant you can attest to the brilliant ways people find to insult
you. “You are definitely having a girl because your face has gotten so wide”, “wow,
you look really tired today”, “You are definitely having a boy because your
butt is getting big already”, “Wow, I cannot believe you are only five months
pregnant, your belly is so huge”, “ooh, you look really bloated today”. That last
one wasn’t directed at me, but to my pregnant friend who told me about it later…
So, with all of these fun compliments I have started to get a complex (who am I
kidding? The complex has been here a while). So tonight I saw a picture of a
fellow prego on social media and started thinking, I wonder if maybe my belly is
too big for five and a half months. So I did what any sane pregnant woman would
do…. and I Google imaged pictures of women who were 22 weeks pregnant to see
how I matched up (yea, that happened). After a few minutes of that I felt
pretty ridiculous. Do you want to know why? Because every BODY is different.
And you know what? EVERYBODY is different.
Every mom is different, every kid
is different, every situation is different. We are all doing the best we can
where we are. I am inspired every day by moms on social media. I love looking
at their Pinterest crafts, their cute photo ideas, games they play with their
kids, places they take their little ones, and personal victories moms have
every day.
I have to actively choose not to
compare myself to other women, but instead to be inspired by them. God has
given each one of us so many unique gifts. They aren't going to be the same,
and that is okay. That is how He intended it to be.
So - let’s take a collective sigh
of relief, moms. Let’s choose to grow together as people and as parents -
because it is never going to be easy… but it is always going to be worth it.
