Mom vs Mom

There are so many things that I love about social media. I know that many people have a cons list, but I honestly love social media. I love keeping up with family and friends. I love seeing pictures of fun adventures – growing kiddos – and sweet animals. I LOVE to read blog posts that other people share. So, recently I have noticed a growing number of blog posts regarding parenting. Specifically how women feel the need to compare themselves or compete with other moms.

If you know me well enough, it won’t surprise you that these blog posts generally end with me crying. I don’t know what it is (other than these fun pregnancy hormones) but I really feel so sad to hear about moms feeling like they have to compete with other moms. From the time I was in high school I remember living with this deep seeded fear of being a mom. I was so afraid of ever taking on the task, simply because it seemed to be so difficult. I remember having conversations with older women about this. Talking about all the things you could potentially do wrong, and how every decision you make could potentially impact the lives of your children. I remember thinking how important it was to choose the right words, and to encourage your kids, to be patient and loving regardless of the circumstances, and how to foster good body image and call out the person they were created to be. I have felt overwhelmed by the possibility of being a mother for years.

Add to that this new fear of not being as good as other mothers. In the nine months that I have been a step-parent I have learned that I am not going to get it all right. I have learned that you give your kids grace and you give yourself grace. That the house won’t always be clean and that dinner won’t always be very good… or very homemade. Parenting is hard.

Now I am starting the fear cycle all over again with a new little baby. The worries all started over about whether or not I am taking good care of him even now by what I eat or if I am drinking enough water. I started worrying about what the baby hears even now, and how that might impact him one day. It might all sound stupid – but I promise, these crazy thoughts pop into your head and there is no controlling them.

Now this - over the past few months I have heard all kinds of comments about this growing baby. If you have ever been pregnant you can attest to the brilliant ways people find to insult you. “You are definitely having a girl because your face has gotten so wide”, “wow, you look really tired today”, “You are definitely having a boy because your butt is getting big already”, “Wow, I cannot believe you are only five months pregnant, your belly is so huge”, “ooh, you look really bloated today”. That last one wasn’t directed at me, but to my pregnant friend who told me about it later… So, with all of these fun compliments I have started to get a complex (who am I kidding? The complex has been here a while). So tonight I saw a picture of a fellow prego on social media and started thinking, I wonder if maybe my belly is too big for five and a half months. So I did what any sane pregnant woman would do…. and I Google imaged pictures of women who were 22 weeks pregnant to see how I matched up (yea, that happened). After a few minutes of that I felt pretty ridiculous. Do you want to know why? Because every BODY is different.

 And you know what? EVERYBODY is different.

Every mom is different, every kid is different, every situation is different. We are all doing the best we can where we are. I am inspired every day by moms on social media. I love looking at their Pinterest crafts, their cute photo ideas, games they play with their kids, places they take their little ones, and personal victories moms have every day.

I have to actively choose not to compare myself to other women, but instead to be inspired by them. God has given each one of us so many unique gifts. They aren't going to be the same, and that is okay. That is how He intended it to be.

So - let’s take a collective sigh of relief, moms. Let’s choose to grow together as people and as parents - because it is never going to be easy… but it is always going to be worth it.