I woke up at 3:30 this morning and,
because I am nine months pregnant, I knew that meant I would be awake for a
while. For some reason, as I lay there thinking about how we could raise our
little baby to be a mighty warrior, I began thinking of the story of Abraham
and Isaac. Kyle and I had just read this story to Riley from the Jesus Story
Book Bible a few days before. Even after the many times I have heard it, I
still have a very unsettled feeling about this.
There is something overwhelming
about Abraham’s faith and obedience when God calls him to sacrifice his own
son. There is something unfamiliar and difficult to comprehend about the way
Isaac loved and trusted his dad. We live in a broken world and many of us have
broken relationships with parents. I suppose this impacts the way we process a
story such as this one. Not just that we cannot understand that kind of trust
from a son to a parent, but that we cannot really understand that kind of faith
from a child to His God.
I know myself well enough to know
that Abraham’s faith is something I may never truly comprehend. In fact, when
we finished reading the story to Riley she seemed a little confused also. She
asked Kyle why Abraham would kill his own son. Kyle’s response was simply, “because
God asked him to”.
God has asked me to do a lot of
things. I can honestly say that I have delayed obedience or been disobedient a
lot in my life. He has never asked me to make a sacrifice like the one He asked
Abraham to make. Likely because He knows my faith falls short of that of one
who belongs in the Hall of Faith.
As we approach this season of
being new parents to a baby boy, something has changed in my heart regarding
the way the story of Abraham and Isaac impacts me. Even before I was a parent I
knew that this ask from God was more than most people could ever bare. This season of preparation to be a mother has
been filled with a lot of worry that our baby would arrive safely and be
healthy and well for years to come. It has brought me to a place where I have
worried and wondered how I would react if something were to happen to our son.
I pray for his protection several times a day and just ask that God would never
bring me to a place where I would have to know the loss of a child. I suppose
that is why this story had me up last night thinking.
I thought about the thoughts and
feelings of Abraham as he watched his boy, the son he prayed so long for, carry
the wood for the sacrifice. I thought about the doubt he may have felt as he
bound his own child in preparation for the sacrifice. Yet I know that I cannot
begin to truly understand what that must have been like.
Abraham loved God. He loved a God
who is worthy of sacrifices like this one. He loved and trusted a God who is
worthy of more than the greatest sacrifice we could ever give. Then I thought
about that same God’s love for us. We, an unworthy people, are very well loved
by a worthy God. And while we fail to give him the sacrificed He deserves, He
did not fail to give us the ONE we didn’t deserve.
I think about the Father’s heart
and how it must have stirred as He watched His own Son carry the wood for the
sacrifice. I think about the Father’s heart and how it must have broken to
experience the vast separation from His Son when He took on the punishment for
us.
God provided a sacrifice for
Abraham that day. He spared Isaac.
God provided a sacrifice for us
as well. He spared us all by not sparing His very own Son.
This song is a great picture of
that love. As it says, “how deep the Father’s love for us - how vast beyond all
measure”.
His love truly is immeasurable.
