A Father's Heart

I woke up at 3:30 this morning and, because I am nine months pregnant, I knew that meant I would be awake for a while. For some reason, as I lay there thinking about how we could raise our little baby to be a mighty warrior, I began thinking of the story of Abraham and Isaac. Kyle and I had just read this story to Riley from the Jesus Story Book Bible a few days before. Even after the many times I have heard it, I still have a very unsettled feeling about this.

There is something overwhelming about Abraham’s faith and obedience when God calls him to sacrifice his own son. There is something unfamiliar and difficult to comprehend about the way Isaac loved and trusted his dad. We live in a broken world and many of us have broken relationships with parents. I suppose this impacts the way we process a story such as this one. Not just that we cannot understand that kind of trust from a son to a parent, but that we cannot really understand that kind of faith from a child to His God.

I know myself well enough to know that Abraham’s faith is something I may never truly comprehend. In fact, when we finished reading the story to Riley she seemed a little confused also. She asked Kyle why Abraham would kill his own son. Kyle’s response was simply, “because God asked him to”.

God has asked me to do a lot of things. I can honestly say that I have delayed obedience or been disobedient a lot in my life. He has never asked me to make a sacrifice like the one He asked Abraham to make. Likely because He knows my faith falls short of that of one who belongs in the Hall of Faith.

As we approach this season of being new parents to a baby boy, something has changed in my heart regarding the way the story of Abraham and Isaac impacts me. Even before I was a parent I knew that this ask from God was more than most people could ever bare.  This season of preparation to be a mother has been filled with a lot of worry that our baby would arrive safely and be healthy and well for years to come. It has brought me to a place where I have worried and wondered how I would react if something were to happen to our son. I pray for his protection several times a day and just ask that God would never bring me to a place where I would have to know the loss of a child. I suppose that is why this story had me up last night thinking.

I thought about the thoughts and feelings of Abraham as he watched his boy, the son he prayed so long for, carry the wood for the sacrifice. I thought about the doubt he may have felt as he bound his own child in preparation for the sacrifice. Yet I know that I cannot begin to truly understand what that must have been like.

Abraham loved God. He loved a God who is worthy of sacrifices like this one. He loved and trusted a God who is worthy of more than the greatest sacrifice we could ever give. Then I thought about that same God’s love for us. We, an unworthy people, are very well loved by a worthy God. And while we fail to give him the sacrificed He deserves, He did not fail to give us the ONE we didn’t deserve.

I think about the Father’s heart and how it must have stirred as He watched His own Son carry the wood for the sacrifice. I think about the Father’s heart and how it must have broken to experience the vast separation from His Son when He took on the punishment for us.

God provided a sacrifice for Abraham that day.  He spared Isaac.

God provided a sacrifice for us as well. He spared us all by not sparing His very own Son.

This song is a great picture of that love. As it says, “how deep the Father’s love for us - how vast beyond all measure”.

His love truly is immeasurable.