Who are you pleasing?

Who are we trying to please?

God uses all kinds of things to teach us lessons, and sometimes the method of teaching is really difficult for us. That is where I was last night, crying an ugly cry and asking God, “how do you want me to respond to this?” I was frustrated, hurt, and felt completely overwhelmed in the situation I was in. I went to sleep thinking about this, and this morning woke up with a heavy heart… Which brings me here. 

I am a self-diagnosed people-pleaser, and I very much do not like to disappoint anyone. With this being the case, I often find myself in situations where I feel like if I don’t get it all right, all the time then ______. You fill in the blank, I have a feeling I am not alone here.

The worst part of feeling this way is that you think other people actually feel that way about you. So whether it’s true or not, you always feel like any love for you is based on your performance. This is not who God is.

It has taken a lot of tears and prayers of gratitude and repentance to get me to this: we will never be able to please everyone, and that should not be our goal anyway.

Last night, as I was trying to sort out the above-mentioned scenario, I got a little bit of clarity when reading 2 Pet 2:19b, “for a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him.” I have let trying to please PEOPLE master me, which makes me a slave to their opinions. I know that it is for freedom that Christ set us free (Gal 5:1), so why am I living in captivity of something that simply does not matter?

I think that probably I am not alone here, and I wanted to shed a little bit of light as we make our way out of an open cell. Galatians 1:10 says, “for am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” This changes my perspective. If we are spending all (or any) of our time consumed with how other people perceive us, are we not serving an idol? Ross King and more recently Jimmy Needham sing, “whatever I can’t stop thinking of is an idol” in Clear the Stage. Now I don’t think we all sit around with the single thought in our minds, “is this good enough for them?” But I do think we think about it more than we should. Who are we really concerned with pleasing? Really? In the day-to-day, I am afraid it is man more than God. I feel so sad having to say that, but I know my own heart and I know that it is true. The Spirit has been so lovely to gently remind me of this throughout the day in conversations. It is a relief to know that it’s not me against the world; it’s Jesus, in me, making our way IN the world, and knowing that we are not OF IT.

Where the lines get fuzzy is when we are trying to please people by doing what is right. We can reach a point where service is not about love and is more about doing “the right thing”. This reminds me of Matthew 6…are we “doing” to be seen, or to make God’s love known? We may not consider ourselves as pharisees, but I think sometimes it is about making others happy more than it is about humbly submitting to His authority in our lives.

I want to seek FIRST His Kingdom and His righteousness. I want for my only goal to be to please God. His love is unconditional – it isn’t based on how good I have done, or how much I have done. He just loves me. That is freeing and offers so much peace. We can rest in that and know that serving Him might sometimes mean being unpleasing to others, and that is okay. Serving Him might sometimes mean not doing ANYTHING, and just being with Him, and that is okay too.

I hope this offers someone a little peace and release from the fear of not being everything to everyone all the time.

You can rest in Him and in His love because HE is perfect.